Thursday, January 21, 2010

Parenting Posts

I've decided to eliminate something from my blog:  any posts on parenting philosophy or theory.

I do find it helpful to write out my thoughts on these issues, but I've also developed an unhealthy habit by using my blog for this purpose.  I've started thinking in a second-handed way about it.  Instead of thinking about the issue in relation to reality, I'm focused on 1) how to express my thoughts to others, and 2) how to make it interesting enough to be blog-worthy.

I'm not saying that I've become a complete second-hander - I'm just saying that I've made the classic mistake of trying to think by means of writing for others.  Thinking on paper is fine if you are writing for yourself, but you can't write something for publication unless you've done the necessary thinking first, and separately. 

I'm still working out my own parenting philosophy.  I'm trying to be inductive about it (and overall I think I'm doing an excellent job at that), but the blog is pushing me to come to abstract conclusions before I've really done enough thinking.  Therefore, I'm going to stop writing posts about issues like discipline, screen-time, honesty with children, etc.  I might report on concrete things that I'm doing, like using a reward chart or letting Sammy watch different types of TV shows as she matures, and I might write about the results that I observe, but I won't be writing about any abstract conclusions I might be coming to on those issues, as I've done in the past.  From now on, I'll be writing about those kinds of thoughts in my own, personal journal.  In fact, I've already started doing so.

Don't worry, I'm still highly opinionated on these matters!  What I mean is that I act decisively on my current thinking, even when I know that I can get more clear about it.  I have to act on something, and I know I have a great foundation of principles to draw from, so I'm confident that I'm doing a good job as a parent.  But I'll be able to do an even better job if I stop the premature blogging.


  1. Awwww...

    I really enjoy reading your theoretical and philosophical postings. They're incredibly insightful and thought provoking.

  2. i 2nd andrew's thoughts. i value the process and the end result, and take your musings in context. i don't think you'd even need to post a disclaimer of any kind when you are pondering things, because you are rational and therefore will adjust your opinions if needed. either way, i'll keep reading!

  3. Sorry, y'all! I'm not worried about what anyone thinks about what I've written, even if I change my mind later. The problem is my thinking process. I find myself going through my day thinking about how I'd blog about this or that, and that is a real problem for me. I'm sure some people can do that, but I have some second-handed tendencies which are getting worse because of this.

    I WILL write soon about the second-handed tendencies, which I think is even more interesting than the parenting stuff, really. (And I've already done the thinking on that one, so I'm ready to write!)

  4. I fully support your cessation. I enjoyed them immensely, but it's better to refrain than to start floating.