I Hate Snow!

This is how I feel about snow right now.   And, like Lorelai, I don't need a physics lesson right now, no matter how well it's intentioned:

Adam Sandler

I caught Adam Sandler's Chanukah Song on the radio the other day and it made me smile for about an hour.  You've probably heard it before, but who can get tired of a song that rhymes "Scrooge is" with "Stooges."

Not Everything is About Me, OK?

My rationally selfish friends will get a kick out of this cute little comedy sketch:

 



(HT: Scribbit)

Oblivious

At Sam's birthday party at the park, Adam was admiring a little girl in a brown dress with pigtails.  She was impeccably groomed and looked very cute.  We noticed that her parents were sitting on the bench right next to us.  Adam said to her mother, "She's really cute."  The mother replied, "She's a little bossy."  And then, yelling out to her cute little girl, she said, "Just go down the slide.  Go down the slide, now!  Arianna, play now!"

I Wonder What She Dreams About

The seven stages of toddler sleep (also known as Why I Don't Let My Daughter Sleep In My Bed):

• Rapid Limb Movement (RLM)


• The drooling stage


• The twitching stage (not to be confused with RLM)


• The heavy breathing stage


• The sweating stage


• The grunting stage


• The continuous flip flopping stage

The final two stages lead inevitably to the awakening of the toddler, which, if you've experienced all seven stages, is always about an hour too soon.

One Looks Like It and One Sounds Like It

Adam was trying to remember the name of this kids' entertainment performer we saw about 6 months ago at a party. 

Adam:  What was that guy called?  The Great Cucumber?  The Great Tortellini?

Me:  It was The Great Zucchini.

And then I laughed so hard that Sam got upset because she thought I was crying.

In Memoriam

Rest in peace, California.  An Onion-worthy satire.

Under the influence of spiritual guru Jerry Brown, it began wholesale experimentation in exotic spending programs, eventual resulting in a traumatic 1979 stay at the Prop 13 Rehab Center.

"California loves children," said Vermont. "California loves children, because deep inside California is a also a child -- full of innocent wonder, and the belief that any budget wish can come true as long as you just wish hard enough."

In 2003 the state rejected suggestions that it was facing bankruptcy, saying that "I can't be out of money, I still have checks left."

The Foundation of an Empire

I don't think there is anything on the internet that gives me more consistent smiles than Dooce's photos of her dog, Chuck, balancing things on his head.  And here is the video that started it all.

Beware of Twitter!

Did you know that Tweeting can make you immoral?  It's true, say some scientists.  Here are some excellent points that you just can't dispute:

...[R]apid-fire news updates and instant social interaction are too fast for the 'moral compass' of the brain to process.

...[H]eavy Twitters and Facebook users could become 'indifferent to human suffering'.

Celebrities of all types - from rugby players to chefs to pop stars - are becoming hooked on the instant updates [and we know celebs are BAD].

'Lasting compassion in relationship to psychological suffering requires a level of persistent, emotional attention.'

I feel really bad when I see roadkill.  Does that make me moral?  Sometimes I spend minutes upon minutes thinking about the suffering of everyone who ever watched a Michael Moore documentary.  I must be really good.  But those kids today - they're just moving too darn fast.  I know cuz I have that science stuff to back me up:

The study used compelling, real-life stories to induce admiration for virtue or skill, or compassion for physical or social pain, in 13 volunteers.

 

Big Things

Here's a humorous reminder not to take the big things for granted either. 



(Hat tip to Scribbit who chose my favorite line, too.)

The Classics: Pachelbel's Cannon and Journey

I was a bit dismayed to find out from LB at 3 Ring Binder that the melody from Eric Carmen's pop song, "All By Myself" was taken straight from my beloved Rachmaninoff's Second Piano Concerto.  I really don't care if he stole it or it was subconscious or it was a coincedence - I just hope I don't associate the two forever.

It did get Adam and me talking about copyright infringement in music and Adam found these two hilarious videos, showing how common some chord progressions really are.

 



 

I've Missed That, She Missed Me, and Don't Miss This

Three Good Things for the day:

1. I had groceries delivered to my door.  I have to admit, that is one nice thing about living in a big city again.


2. Adam picked up Samantha from day care today, and the moment she walked in the door she said MOMMY in the most precious, excited voice.  That's a rare treat for me.


3. Funniest and scariest link of the day (ok, so she posted it yesterday) goes to Rational Jenn.  Reading the reviews of the Playmobil Security Checkpoint toy gave me hope for the future of this country.  If that many people can recognize authoritarianism in the TSA, AND be that funny about it, we'll be ok.  Well, maybe not.

Typing

I've been letting Samantha type on my keyboard lately.  She is able to find quite a few letters, naming them and typing them.  ("Y" is so passé - "W" is now the hot letter.)  She loves it when I hold her finger and help her type her name, and the names of the rest of the family, as we do with pen and paper sometimes also.  She's found some of the punctuation, too, and today she named the period, BABY CIRCLE.

Having Kids Really Makes You Grow and Learn

One of the new skills you learn as a parent is interpreting an alien language:

FOG-O, FOG-O, FOG-O.  DIE. DIE.  NO TOUCH WET.  NO TOUCH.  FOG-O.  DADDY CUT TREE.  YESCH.

This means:

The decorative metal frog that we kept outside on the balcony is now downstairs on the deck, and it reminds me of that one frog, well it was a lizard, but it looked like a frog, that we saw at grandma and grandpa's house, and it was dead, but back to the metal frog, I was not allowed to touch it when it was raining outside that one time, but then I saw it downstairs when daddy was cutting down the tree.  Yes.

Woof, Wood, and Wine

Three Good Things for the day:

1. Sam met a dog named JoJo who reminded her of her grandparents' dog, Honey.


2. I cleaned my hardwood floors with Murphy's Oil Soap for the first time since we moved in and I've been admiring how beautiful it looks all day. 


3. I'm about to go pour myself a glass of wine and chuckle about this for the rest of the evening.

Mysteries

I have no idea how Google works.  Why am I the tenth hit when you search, "woman pooing her pants?"  Yikes!

Soup, Sam, and Science

Three Good Things for the day:

1. Cooked an excellent barley and vegetable soup tonight, thanks to Six O'Clock Scramble.


2. Decided to try eliminating time-outs for Sam and work on positive discipline.  I don't think I'll figure it all out unless I give it a try.  Thanks, readers and friends, for sharing your thoughts.  I'll keep you posted.


3. Brian Malow is definitely the find of the day (thanks Kim!)  This guy is a "science comedian" and it's really just good stand-up comedy, but with basic science as a running theme.  This vid starts out a bit slow so hang in there - it's worth it.

 

What I Found Behind the Dishwasher

Another interesting find in my new home:



This is the space right next to my dishwasher.  I was cleaning the cabinets near it when I saw this mess.  There is a grape, some wadded up paper, plastic wrapping of some sort, and the glass, which is not a drinking glass, but a lamp shade for the ceiling fan light fixture in our breakfast area.  We can't get the lamp shade out - it doesn't fit!  Adam and I have been debating about how it got there.  It must have arrived there sometime between the time they installed the horrible tile floor and the time they installed the dishwasher.  Adam thinks somebody put it there as some kind of joke.  I think they must have installed the ceiling fan at the same time they installed the dishwasher, and it just rolled there.  But in my theory, the lamp shade would have had to roll all the way around a peninsula.   Unless it was on the kitchen counter and fell off and rolled in there.  I could think about this for days.

First Joke

Samantha made her first joke last night.  We were eating dinner and I said, "excuse me" in a funny way.  It cracked her up so much that I started saying it over and over in all sorts of silly ways.  Of course, Steve Martin was in there, as was Mike Myers.  I pretended to let food fall out of my mouth and said "excuse me."  I "accidentally" ate some food off of Sam's plate and said "excuse me."  I stretched it out long, and then I said it as fast as I could.  I said it with a high pitch, I said it with a low pitch.  I had her laughing so hard she almost fell out of her chair.  Then she put her hand over her mouth and, pretending to sneeze, said, AH-AHHH-AHHH-SCUSEME!

The Terrible Twos Are Here

Samantha did this today.