Sunday, January 30, 2011

Seeing Red

Four days ago everything was looking good. Today, not so much. Yesterday, I saw blood.

It was only a tiny bit, which is good. And one third of normal pregnancies have some spotting in the first trimester. But not mine. This is not normal or right for me. I had light spotting very early in my second miscarriage (at exactly this time last year), and then two weeks later it was over. That one ended on its own - no need for a D&C. I think something very different went wrong there. And that's why I'm extremely worried now. I'm counting on the donated eggs to save me from the genetic abnormalities, but this indicates something else might be wrong.

So I've had to pull back on all my happy expectations - again. And now I just have to wait - again. There's nothing I can do. I'm back in hell.

11 comments:

  1. Pregnancy is a monumental value over which you exert so little control. I understand how this tortures you.

    I was once told that given my progesterone level I was in for certain miscarriage, and I could do nothing but wait for it to happen. Eight months later, beautiful Lana was born. I hope with every fiber of my being that you will soon be telling a similar story.

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  2. I'm so sorry! I hope it's nothing, but completely understand that you can't put your mind into a hopeful place. When is the ultrasound? I'll hold my breath with you until then...

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  3. Sending hugs and warm thoughts...

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  4. So sorry, Amy. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you guys well.

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  5. Oh, no! I am hoping that everything is still ok.

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  6. Sending warm thoughts and hopes that it's just part of the twins getting settled. I so hope you're happy indicators return soon.

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  7. We've never met, but I so want to hug you right now, and set you up on the sofa with a blanket and hot chocolate.

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  8. I'm so very sorry Amy, I know how scary it is to have bleeding during the first trimester of a pregnancy. When I was pregnant with Charlie, I had bleeding for about a week (somewhere around 4-6 weeks). He was implanted in an abnormal place and they told me I would probably miscarry. Obviously I didn't. My last pregnancy, with Addie, I also bled for days and had cramping so they thought I would miscarry. Again I didn't. I realize all women and all pregnancies are different, but early bleeding can end with baby. I wish you well!

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  9. Best wishes. When I had spotting my doctor told me to take it very easy. I hope it's nothing!

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  10. Amy, I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope this is normal pregnancy spotting.

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  11. I just saw from your facebook update, everything is good! Yay :-) Having had two babies and two miscarriages, boy do I know the terror of going through this. Congrats!

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