Me: Okay, it's time to get out of the car and go in the house. Can you clean up your poopy underwear while I make lunch?
Sam [whining]: Nooooo! I don't want to get out of the car! I want to say here.
Me [turning around to face her]: Do you think we should just stay in the car all afternoon?
Me: I don't know. I'm getting pretty hungry. We won't be able to eat until we get inside.
Sam: But I just want to stay here and have lunch.
Me: All of the food is inside. Do you have any proposals?
Sam: I think we should go inside.
Sam: But I don't want to clean up my poopy underwear. I just want to keep my poopy underwear on for my nap.
Me: Okay, but if you leave the poop on your bottom for a long time, it can make your skin hurt. You know, just like when you eat too many grapes? It can make your bottom hurt really bad. But it's up to you.
Sam: I think I want to wipe my bottom and put on new underwear and pants.
Sam: But I don't want to clean up my poopy underwear before lunch. I just want to keep them on, because all the clean underwear and the wipes are upstairs.
Me: Okay, that's fine with me. [Later, as we were walking inside]: Oh, Sam, I think I'm going to have to change my mind. I can't sit at the table and eat lunch with you because you smell very bad. Can you go clean up first?
Sam: Nooooo, I don't WANT to!
Me: Well, I can't sit at the table with you with that smell, so you can eat alone or you can clean up while I make lunch.
Sam: Mommy? Will you come upstairs with me while I clean up?