Okay, now you can all congratulate me. I'm pregnant. And we're having twins!
Oh, I guess it's not really earth shattering news for you anymore, huh? But it is for me. This is the day I've been working towards for almost two years now. I'm past the miscarriage zone, or far enough for my comfort, anyway. Both babies are perfect, with perfect little heartbeats, growing at the perfect rate, and living in a perfect environment. I will no longer qualify that statement with "for now" or by saying, "things can still go wrong." No, I'm past that. We are going to have two more children. It's going to happen! Ack! I can hardly believe it!
So, two more. Hmmm. I'm still ambivalent about the whole twins thing. I mean, I was supposed to be an expert this time around. I was supposed to be one of those other moms - you know, the ones with more than one child who watch their toddler falling on her face and don't even twitch unless they see blood. The ones who walk through the supermarket with kids hanging off all sides of the cart and a baby in a sling nursing while they chat on the phone and point to items on the shelves that the oldest child dutifully picks up and puts in the cart. The ones that don't feel the need to talk about every little logistical problem with bottles and car seats and toilets because, well, Been There Done That And It's Really Not All That Exciting, Folks. The ones with the experience. The ones who know what the hell they are doing. The Others.
But that is not going to be me, ever. I'm going to be just as clueless this time around, because just about everything is different with twins. I mean, I guess some of my experience will help. One big thing that I'll know this time around is that whatever it is that seems impossibly difficult or painful or stressful will pass. I will not be stuck in the house forever. I will regain all of my old values, eventually. The babies will someday learn to use the toilet. I'll also know that I am capable. I know I can do this, even with two little ones plus Sammy. But other than that, I'm like a new parent. Breastfeeding is a whole new mysterious realm, when I imagine having to feed two. Where will they sleep? How will I manage to carry two little babies and a double stroller out my front door? Can we afford this? How do you soothe two crying babies at once? Will we be able to travel? When do I get to shower?
That's all the negative stuff. The obvious positive is: two new human beings that I get to watch grow up! I really do want that. It's hard to imagine that I could have two more relationships like the one that I have now with Sam. But if it's true, and you really can love more without losing anything, my life will be unimaginably rich.
And hell, I kind of like the idea of being clueless again. That's part of what makes it all so exciting! I get to delve into a whole new world - again. My life will be filled with huge new challenges, and I'll meet them - again. I'll be surprised and delighted (and pained and stressed) at all the things I never anticipated - again. And that's what I wanted from the start - to do it all again.
I feel very lucky that I'm going to get to experience two very different age-gaps amongst my children. Sam will be five when the twins are born. And the twins will be the same age. So I'll have children who have that big gap in their ages that seems to smooth over a lot of difficulties with siblings. I'll also have a helper in Sam when the babies are little, and I'll get to see her mentor them and teach them. At least, that's how I imagine it. And I'll also have two children who are so close in age that they have that potential bond that we all imagine twins can have. Of course, they might not get along at all, but there is that potential for closeness. The age-gap between Sam and the babies is wide enough that I feared I would miss out on a lot of the interaction between the children that people say is so amazing when you have a second. Sam still won't have that experience of a sibling close to her own age, but the twins will have it with each other, and I think Sam will be old enough that even she will enjoy watching that. It's really makes for quite a nice little family, I think.
Little?
Oh, man. A family of five. Not so little. Is this really happening?
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Italy Plans
Well, I promised to keep writing updates about my planning for our Italy trip in April and I haven't done that. Mostly, I haven't reported because I didn't do much planning for a long time.
Everything is turning out to be more expensive than I had estimated. That's ok. This is an expensive trip and the extra 10% or so isn't going to get me down. I can't say that this is a once-in-a-lifetime trip because I do think we'll be able to travel like this again someday, but it will be a long way off. So if I spread out the cost over, say, 10 or 15 years, it's actually quite a bargain! But the extra cost threw me for a loop when choosing the hotels and I got stumped. I had a price-point in mind but I just wasn't finding what I wanted. Eventually, I figured out that I just needed to spend a bit more, and that solved that problem.
But by the time I got over that, the hotels started filling up. This was in December, for a trip in April! I was shocked. So I also had to modify my expectations on that front too. I could no longer just pick the one hotel that I wanted and assume I would get it.
Another problem I had was that my method of choosing a hotel required me to sit at my computer and compare my options all in one go. It's one of those tasks that required me to have a big block of time to work with. Not easy when you have fractured time. Every time I did a little piece of research and had to stop and do something else, the effort was lost. I needed to retain the options in my head and compare them while they were fresh. Finding that block of time was a big challenge, especially when most of my Sam-free time was being used for the baby-making project. But finally, I found a day with some time and I booked the hotels for Rome and Florence. Whew! Both of them are in great locations, but they're just above what I'd call "budget" hotels. I don't think the hotels will be very important in the big cities. I looked primarily at location, comfortable beds, on-site management, and private bathrooms. All we need is a stress-free place to hole up for a nap or for the night.
Oh, and booking the flight was a nightmare. I had checked flights early on and there seemed to be plenty of options, but when I went back a month later (in early December!) all the flights were very inconvenient. Some of them had 12 hour layovers. I used search engines but they all gave me the same bad news. Then I started searching individual airlines' web sites to see if I could get lucky. Finally, I did get lucky with KLM. I found the perfect flight. I tried to book it and my goddamn credit card blocked the transaction because their algorithm said that it might be fraudulent. So I tried another card. That one had a block on it too because Adam bought my Christmas present on it that morning and THAT was flagged as potentially fraudulent! Finally, I got a card that I knew should work, but the KLM web site would not take it. Somewhere in there, the KLM web site returned a message saying that the flight I had chosen was no longer available. I actually cried at that point. But I tried again, while also calling on the phone. It turned out that there were more seats on the flight, but that it still wouldn't take my credit card. When I got someone on the phone, they could not find that the flight even existed. At this point, I had been working on this for about two hours and I had to go pick up Sam from school in just a few minutes. But while I was talking to a rep on the phone, I clicked "book this flight" again on the web site and for some reason, it went through! I still have no idea what was going on there, but the whole thing was so stressful. I think I was on the hormones at that point too, which probably made it seem worse than it really was.
Then, I still had the road trip to plan for. I needed two more hotels and all I knew was a general driving route we would take between the two cities. I have a friend from Perugia who helped me figure this part out. We're going to stay one night in a real castle just outside Gubbio, and one night in Volterra. I picked places that seemed restful and had access to some of the areas we want to explore by car. I am so excited about this part of the trip. I just hope the weather is not too bad. April can be very rainy.
I reserved a rental car but I'm not totally confident I did it the smart way. I need to review my guidebooks and make sure I made good choices. Damn, that little VW Golf is expensive, too! With the exception of the hotel near Gubbio, the car is the only thing that I didn't have to pay in advance for, so at least I can try to change that if necessary.
And now, I need to book the museums that require advance reservations. I hope I haven't missed the time window for that, but I suppose if we miss something, it won't be the end of the world. Our list of things to see and do is huge and we'll probably not get to it all anyway.
Overall, the planning has not been as fun as I had hoped. It's been a lot of really difficult, stressful work. But I am determined not to make that mistake with the actual trip itself. We are not going to try to do too much. We are not going to stress out about whether a meal costs a few extra Euros. We are NOT going to overpack. And, after making this mistake way too many times, this time we will be sure to make time for naps.
Everything is turning out to be more expensive than I had estimated. That's ok. This is an expensive trip and the extra 10% or so isn't going to get me down. I can't say that this is a once-in-a-lifetime trip because I do think we'll be able to travel like this again someday, but it will be a long way off. So if I spread out the cost over, say, 10 or 15 years, it's actually quite a bargain! But the extra cost threw me for a loop when choosing the hotels and I got stumped. I had a price-point in mind but I just wasn't finding what I wanted. Eventually, I figured out that I just needed to spend a bit more, and that solved that problem.
But by the time I got over that, the hotels started filling up. This was in December, for a trip in April! I was shocked. So I also had to modify my expectations on that front too. I could no longer just pick the one hotel that I wanted and assume I would get it.
Another problem I had was that my method of choosing a hotel required me to sit at my computer and compare my options all in one go. It's one of those tasks that required me to have a big block of time to work with. Not easy when you have fractured time. Every time I did a little piece of research and had to stop and do something else, the effort was lost. I needed to retain the options in my head and compare them while they were fresh. Finding that block of time was a big challenge, especially when most of my Sam-free time was being used for the baby-making project. But finally, I found a day with some time and I booked the hotels for Rome and Florence. Whew! Both of them are in great locations, but they're just above what I'd call "budget" hotels. I don't think the hotels will be very important in the big cities. I looked primarily at location, comfortable beds, on-site management, and private bathrooms. All we need is a stress-free place to hole up for a nap or for the night.
Oh, and booking the flight was a nightmare. I had checked flights early on and there seemed to be plenty of options, but when I went back a month later (in early December!) all the flights were very inconvenient. Some of them had 12 hour layovers. I used search engines but they all gave me the same bad news. Then I started searching individual airlines' web sites to see if I could get lucky. Finally, I did get lucky with KLM. I found the perfect flight. I tried to book it and my goddamn credit card blocked the transaction because their algorithm said that it might be fraudulent. So I tried another card. That one had a block on it too because Adam bought my Christmas present on it that morning and THAT was flagged as potentially fraudulent! Finally, I got a card that I knew should work, but the KLM web site would not take it. Somewhere in there, the KLM web site returned a message saying that the flight I had chosen was no longer available. I actually cried at that point. But I tried again, while also calling on the phone. It turned out that there were more seats on the flight, but that it still wouldn't take my credit card. When I got someone on the phone, they could not find that the flight even existed. At this point, I had been working on this for about two hours and I had to go pick up Sam from school in just a few minutes. But while I was talking to a rep on the phone, I clicked "book this flight" again on the web site and for some reason, it went through! I still have no idea what was going on there, but the whole thing was so stressful. I think I was on the hormones at that point too, which probably made it seem worse than it really was.
Then, I still had the road trip to plan for. I needed two more hotels and all I knew was a general driving route we would take between the two cities. I have a friend from Perugia who helped me figure this part out. We're going to stay one night in a real castle just outside Gubbio, and one night in Volterra. I picked places that seemed restful and had access to some of the areas we want to explore by car. I am so excited about this part of the trip. I just hope the weather is not too bad. April can be very rainy.
I reserved a rental car but I'm not totally confident I did it the smart way. I need to review my guidebooks and make sure I made good choices. Damn, that little VW Golf is expensive, too! With the exception of the hotel near Gubbio, the car is the only thing that I didn't have to pay in advance for, so at least I can try to change that if necessary.
And now, I need to book the museums that require advance reservations. I hope I haven't missed the time window for that, but I suppose if we miss something, it won't be the end of the world. Our list of things to see and do is huge and we'll probably not get to it all anyway.
Overall, the planning has not been as fun as I had hoped. It's been a lot of really difficult, stressful work. But I am determined not to make that mistake with the actual trip itself. We are not going to try to do too much. We are not going to stress out about whether a meal costs a few extra Euros. We are NOT going to overpack. And, after making this mistake way too many times, this time we will be sure to make time for naps.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
9 Weeks
Today I am 9 weeks pregnant!
Things seem to be settling down now. I've had absolutely no bleeding since my last ultrasound, when I was told that I would most likely have more bleeding. I was finally ready to accept the spotting as normal, and then I didn't have to deal with it any more. Well, no matter. It looks like I'll get my chance to be calm, cool, and collected when we stop the hormones in just a few days. My nurse at the infertility clinic told me to expect some spotting when we do.
My nausea disappeared as well. I'm not sure what happened last Tuesday. I was so sick that day, but then it got better on Wednesday, and even better on Thursday, and by Friday, I started feeling truly hungry again. I'm fully prepared to go through additional bouts of morning sickness, but if they are isolated like that, it's really not so bad. I was worried that I would continue to feel like that every day.
I'm still not ravenously hungry, though, like I've been in all my previous pregnancies. I'm eating pretty much normally.
I definitely have a belly. I wish I had taken a photo right when I knew I was pregnant to use as a benchmark, but after taking and posting photos early on in my first, doomed pregnancy in 2009, I was a little gun-shy. And I've just been too lazy in the past couple of weeks to do it. Maybe I'll start at 10 weeks.
The fatigue is the only thing that has been really consistent. I'm skipping my nap today, partially so I can get this blog post written, but also because I am just so behind on all the things I need and want to do. I wake up at 7:15, usually take an hour and a half nap, and then get into bed to watch TV or read at about 8:30 each night before falling asleep at around 11. That only leaves about twelve hours of awake, working time. It's a real problem.
I have my first official prenatal appointment tomorrow. We'll have another ultrasound and decide on screening tests. I'll also find out a lot more about what to expect with a twin pregnancy. I've tried not to get ahead of myself surfing the web about it, but I do know that I should probably expect bed rest at some point, and I'm worried that I won't be able to travel for OCON in early July, when I'll only be 6 months along. Other than that, I don't really know what to expect. Having twins makes all of this new territory for me, which is actually kind of exciting.
Most importantly, tomorrow is the day I've been waiting for, ever since we decided to go with the donor egg option. Tomorrow is the day that I'll have the scariest ultrasound - the one that will tell me if my babies made it past the danger period when four of them died before. Tomorrow is the day that it will become real for me. I hope.
Things seem to be settling down now. I've had absolutely no bleeding since my last ultrasound, when I was told that I would most likely have more bleeding. I was finally ready to accept the spotting as normal, and then I didn't have to deal with it any more. Well, no matter. It looks like I'll get my chance to be calm, cool, and collected when we stop the hormones in just a few days. My nurse at the infertility clinic told me to expect some spotting when we do.
My nausea disappeared as well. I'm not sure what happened last Tuesday. I was so sick that day, but then it got better on Wednesday, and even better on Thursday, and by Friday, I started feeling truly hungry again. I'm fully prepared to go through additional bouts of morning sickness, but if they are isolated like that, it's really not so bad. I was worried that I would continue to feel like that every day.
I'm still not ravenously hungry, though, like I've been in all my previous pregnancies. I'm eating pretty much normally.
I definitely have a belly. I wish I had taken a photo right when I knew I was pregnant to use as a benchmark, but after taking and posting photos early on in my first, doomed pregnancy in 2009, I was a little gun-shy. And I've just been too lazy in the past couple of weeks to do it. Maybe I'll start at 10 weeks.
The fatigue is the only thing that has been really consistent. I'm skipping my nap today, partially so I can get this blog post written, but also because I am just so behind on all the things I need and want to do. I wake up at 7:15, usually take an hour and a half nap, and then get into bed to watch TV or read at about 8:30 each night before falling asleep at around 11. That only leaves about twelve hours of awake, working time. It's a real problem.
I have my first official prenatal appointment tomorrow. We'll have another ultrasound and decide on screening tests. I'll also find out a lot more about what to expect with a twin pregnancy. I've tried not to get ahead of myself surfing the web about it, but I do know that I should probably expect bed rest at some point, and I'm worried that I won't be able to travel for OCON in early July, when I'll only be 6 months along. Other than that, I don't really know what to expect. Having twins makes all of this new territory for me, which is actually kind of exciting.
Most importantly, tomorrow is the day I've been waiting for, ever since we decided to go with the donor egg option. Tomorrow is the day that I'll have the scariest ultrasound - the one that will tell me if my babies made it past the danger period when four of them died before. Tomorrow is the day that it will become real for me. I hope.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
My Orange Chair
When I was pregnant with Sam, I decided that a good glider was a high priority baby item. I hated the look of most gliders, though. In Michigan, it was hard to find any furniture at all that wasn't "country" style, and gliders were the worst. We couldn't afford the chair that I really wanted, but Adam's parents kindly got it for us as a gift. It was the only chair that was big and cushy, but which wasn't too deep for my short legs. It also looks somewhat like a normal chair, and not just a baby diner. I was disappointed when I saw the reddish-orange color - it's so hard to pick fabric from those tiny swatches - but other than that, it's been the perfect chair.
I spent countless hours in the "orange chair," nursing Sam. We kept it in our bedroom for the middle-of-the-night feedings. It got milk stains all over it, but it cleaned up just fine. We had to put it in storage when we were moving around, but it came through to Virginia unscathed. Then we put it in Sam's room, even though I wasn't nursing her any more. We read to her in that chair every night before she went to bed, until she moved into her big-girl room and her big-girl bed. Then, there wasn't room for the orange chair. We left it in the "nursery" - Sam's old room.
Now, when Sam can't sleep at night, she gets up and goes into the nursery and sits in the orange chair. She just rocks until she feels better. Sometimes she puts her stuffed animals to sleep on the orange chair, covering them up with a blanket. When she wakes up grumpy and needs some cuddling, she asks for me to sit with her in the orange chair. After every bath, Adam or I give her a "drying hug" in the orange chair, and tell her Little Bear stories there.
I don't know if two babies plus me will fit in the orange chair. But I do know that we'll continue to find some use for it. I look forward to many more happy memories with my precious, orange chair.
I spent countless hours in the "orange chair," nursing Sam. We kept it in our bedroom for the middle-of-the-night feedings. It got milk stains all over it, but it cleaned up just fine. We had to put it in storage when we were moving around, but it came through to Virginia unscathed. Then we put it in Sam's room, even though I wasn't nursing her any more. We read to her in that chair every night before she went to bed, until she moved into her big-girl room and her big-girl bed. Then, there wasn't room for the orange chair. We left it in the "nursery" - Sam's old room.
Now, when Sam can't sleep at night, she gets up and goes into the nursery and sits in the orange chair. She just rocks until she feels better. Sometimes she puts her stuffed animals to sleep on the orange chair, covering them up with a blanket. When she wakes up grumpy and needs some cuddling, she asks for me to sit with her in the orange chair. After every bath, Adam or I give her a "drying hug" in the orange chair, and tell her Little Bear stories there.
I don't know if two babies plus me will fit in the orange chair. But I do know that we'll continue to find some use for it. I look forward to many more happy memories with my precious, orange chair.
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Secret Garden
For Christmas, I bought Sammy The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett. This is, by far, the longest book Sam has ever attempted, even though I got an abridged version. The book I bought included an audiobook version on CD, and I figured that would be a great way to start Sam off reading longer stories.
Since I finally cracked it open about a week ago, we've listened to the entire book at least four times. Every single trip in the car means another installment of The Secret Garden. Sam can't get enough, and that's fine with me, because I love it too! We've also read parts of the book out loud to her, but she is less interested that way. I'm sure that will change, though. I have a feeling that The Secret Garden is going to be one of those special things that both Sam and I remember as an integral part of her childhood, just like Little Bear has been (and still is!).
I'm not even sure why I bought this particular book. I had some vague recollection that it was a classic, but after hearing the story, I don't remember it from my own childhood. Maybe I did read it, but it didn't stick with me into adulthood. But I'm so glad that I did pick it up. It's a wonderful story, and it's just the right level for Sam right now - a bit of a stretch, but comprehensible to her.
Today I was catching up on the VanDamme Academy video blogs (have you been watching? you should be) and came across this one, in which Ms. VanDamme actually uses The Secret Garden (as well as Burnett's other classic, A Little Princess) as an example of a children's book with "good, rich, thematic material." So maybe I picked up the book on a half-remembered recommendation from Ms. VanDamme or someone else in the little Objectivist educators' world.
Whatever - I have a new world of books for Sam now. Amazon.com says that A Little Princess is for reading level ages 9-12. I suspect that there are many wonderful books for that age that Sam could appreciate. Audiobooks are a good thing.
Since I finally cracked it open about a week ago, we've listened to the entire book at least four times. Every single trip in the car means another installment of The Secret Garden. Sam can't get enough, and that's fine with me, because I love it too! We've also read parts of the book out loud to her, but she is less interested that way. I'm sure that will change, though. I have a feeling that The Secret Garden is going to be one of those special things that both Sam and I remember as an integral part of her childhood, just like Little Bear has been (and still is!).
I'm not even sure why I bought this particular book. I had some vague recollection that it was a classic, but after hearing the story, I don't remember it from my own childhood. Maybe I did read it, but it didn't stick with me into adulthood. But I'm so glad that I did pick it up. It's a wonderful story, and it's just the right level for Sam right now - a bit of a stretch, but comprehensible to her.
Today I was catching up on the VanDamme Academy video blogs (have you been watching? you should be) and came across this one, in which Ms. VanDamme actually uses The Secret Garden (as well as Burnett's other classic, A Little Princess) as an example of a children's book with "good, rich, thematic material." So maybe I picked up the book on a half-remembered recommendation from Ms. VanDamme or someone else in the little Objectivist educators' world.
Whatever - I have a new world of books for Sam now. Amazon.com says that A Little Princess is for reading level ages 9-12. I suspect that there are many wonderful books for that age that Sam could appreciate. Audiobooks are a good thing.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
New Skills
Sam has been doing a lot of new things lately. I'm sure I'm forgetting many, but here are some things that come to mind:
- She can write her name legibly! SAMMEE is her chosen spelling. She had everything but the "s" down a while ago, but just yesterday, she got it. She is excited about it, but I think I'm even more thrilled. Her writing skills are coming late (for a Montessori kid) and it's been holding her back from work she could otherwise be doing, since her reading and spelling skills are so much more advanced. This is one of the few "academic" things we actually work on at home, so it's gratifying to see her reach this milestone.
- She can open the car door if she has a curb to get her up high enough. (She's just not tall enough to have the leverage she needs, no matter how hard she pulls.)
- She can cut her own fingernails - on her left hand, at least.
- She can wash her own hair and get shampoo on most parts of it. (She's been washing her own hair forever, but she's only recently accepted the fact that she has hair directly above her ears.)
- She can use a screwdriver to screw in one of those itty bitty screws that are used on battery compartments on children's toys. Really, if I hold the compartment closed, she can get it on tight, which is quite a skill.
- She can use a small power drill, if I help her to hold up its weight.
- She can put on her socks by herself - this was one of those things she just refused to even try for a long time.
- She can put on her own gloves and get one finger in each hole. Thank god for that one because it must be one of the worst mommy-jobs ever. In fact, I suppose she learned how because I told her I couldn't do it and she'd just have to wear her gloves like mittens.
- She can make a snowball.
- She can brush her upper, back teeth well enough that I hardly ever help her anymore.
- And, for her, the most thrilling new skill is that she can now pick up the cat.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
The Next Bump in the Road
Yesterday I encountered my latest pregnancy challenge: the dreaded morning sickness. I woke up nauseated and it got worse as the day went on. The nausea itself wasn't that bad, but I had no appetite, which caused a massive blood-sugar crash that lasted the whole day. It was like having the flu: I was shaking, dizzy, freezing cold, weak, and my muscles ached. But no matter how bad it was, I couldn't get myself to eat more than a few bites of food. Food was revolting. I didn't actually vomit, but it was pretty close.
It's so strange. I had a couple of moments of mild nausea in the past two weeks, but nothing serious. In all of my six previous pregnancies, I've never suffered more than those mild, rare moments of sickness. Yesterday, though, it hit me like a ton of bricks. What changed?
I did try some ginger tea which helps a lot with the nausea, but it doesn't help me want to eat, which is the real problem (I've actually lost a pound in the past month). Also, this tea has a couple of other herbs in it which are on the "forbidden during pregnancy" list. I'm drinking a cup right now, but I can't drink it all day long. There are other products with ginger, but my nurse-friend says you really need higher amounts of ginger than you're going to get in most crackers and things. So I'll probably check out Trader Joe's where they seem to have super-strong ginger products, or even make my own tea from fresh ginger. But I'm not sure how I'm going to find the energy to get to the market at all, let alone cook anything. And that's another problem. I think there might be a few palatable foods out there, but I can't imagine going to the market feeling like I did yesterday. I'm sure I'd pass out.
Today, I have managed to eat a bit more. I also slept until 11am and then took a quick nap after lunch, which I think helped a lot. Maybe the tea also helped, or maybe I'm just having a better day. But I'm not cold, which was the worst part about yesterday. I'd have these episodes where the coldness would start out from my core and just spread throughout my body, ending up in my toes, fingers, and nose. And when it got there it wouldn't leave. I kept running my hands under hot water (I was too weak to take a shower) and when I was home, I got under a blanket with a heating pad on my feet. When I went to bed last night, it took a full hour with the heating pad for me to stop feeling cold.
Today is supposed to be my last day of estrogen and progesterone (8 weeks pregnant today - woohoo!), and stopping the hormones might help. However, since I've been so uptight about miscarriage, my RE suggested that I keep going with them, not because it would lower any risk, but because if I did lose the pregnancy, at least I wouldn't blame it on stopping the hormones, and therefore, on myself. Then my OB said I should keep taking them until eleven weeks. I think his information is just a bit out of date. But still, I was going to keep going with the hormones until I ran out, which will probably be in a week or two. Now, I don't know. Maybe I should stop them sooner. I guess I'll give it a few more days and see how it goes.
It's so strange. I had a couple of moments of mild nausea in the past two weeks, but nothing serious. In all of my six previous pregnancies, I've never suffered more than those mild, rare moments of sickness. Yesterday, though, it hit me like a ton of bricks. What changed?
I did try some ginger tea which helps a lot with the nausea, but it doesn't help me want to eat, which is the real problem (I've actually lost a pound in the past month). Also, this tea has a couple of other herbs in it which are on the "forbidden during pregnancy" list. I'm drinking a cup right now, but I can't drink it all day long. There are other products with ginger, but my nurse-friend says you really need higher amounts of ginger than you're going to get in most crackers and things. So I'll probably check out Trader Joe's where they seem to have super-strong ginger products, or even make my own tea from fresh ginger. But I'm not sure how I'm going to find the energy to get to the market at all, let alone cook anything. And that's another problem. I think there might be a few palatable foods out there, but I can't imagine going to the market feeling like I did yesterday. I'm sure I'd pass out.
Today, I have managed to eat a bit more. I also slept until 11am and then took a quick nap after lunch, which I think helped a lot. Maybe the tea also helped, or maybe I'm just having a better day. But I'm not cold, which was the worst part about yesterday. I'd have these episodes where the coldness would start out from my core and just spread throughout my body, ending up in my toes, fingers, and nose. And when it got there it wouldn't leave. I kept running my hands under hot water (I was too weak to take a shower) and when I was home, I got under a blanket with a heating pad on my feet. When I went to bed last night, it took a full hour with the heating pad for me to stop feeling cold.
Today is supposed to be my last day of estrogen and progesterone (8 weeks pregnant today - woohoo!), and stopping the hormones might help. However, since I've been so uptight about miscarriage, my RE suggested that I keep going with them, not because it would lower any risk, but because if I did lose the pregnancy, at least I wouldn't blame it on stopping the hormones, and therefore, on myself. Then my OB said I should keep taking them until eleven weeks. I think his information is just a bit out of date. But still, I was going to keep going with the hormones until I ran out, which will probably be in a week or two. Now, I don't know. Maybe I should stop them sooner. I guess I'll give it a few more days and see how it goes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)