- Had a nice sushi dinner out with a friend who also recently moved to northern Virginia. Samantha ate a tiny bit of crab, licked the eel and the salmon, but otherwise stuck to Miso soup and edamame. She's adventurous in her eating, but come on!
- Adam put up a shelf for my monitor which means there is only one step left in building my awesome workspace in the living room. I'll post pictures and the reasoning behind the design when it is complete.
- Got through about 30 of the 82 emails that were lingering in my inbox. Found some nice notes from friends that I hadn't really read yet, some pictures of a friend's new baby, and an electronic Christmas card I hadn't had the chance to view yet. Is it too late to make a New Year's resolution to keep up with my email?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Dinner, Desk, and Delinquency
Three Good Things for the day:
Gmail
Is anybody else having trouble with gmail lately? I keep getting a pop up box titled Error which says:
Oops... a server error occurred and your email was not saved. (#103)
[or not sent, or whatever]
But then the email seems to have been saved, or sent, or whatever. I found a thread on Google Groups:
http://groups.google.com/group/Gmail-Help-Message-Delivery-en/browse_thread/thread/dd559ea4f36765db
But it doesn't say much.
Oops... a server error occurred and your email was not saved. (#103)
[or not sent, or whatever]
But then the email seems to have been saved, or sent, or whatever. I found a thread on Google Groups:
http://groups.google.com/group/Gmail-Help-Message-Delivery-en/browse_thread/thread/dd559ea4f36765db
But it doesn't say much.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Bedtime Bliss, Busy, and Bucket O' Beer
Three Good Things for the day:
- Samantha slept in until almost 9am this morning.
- I took Sam to the doctor (she has an ear infection) and, trying to convince her to step up on the scale, I weighed myself. I've lost 5 pounds just because I've been too busy to remember to eat.
- Even though I told myself I'd go to bed early, something inspired me to rearrange the furniture in the living room and it led to all kinds of good reorganization around the house. The most interesting thing was that I found this leftover from the previous occupants up on a high shelf in the laundry room. Yes, they are unopened. Ha!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The Sam Update - Twenty Eight Months Old
Since I missed the quarterly pictures, I have two sets for you today. Click the picture, then click "Slideshow" at the top-left to see them all.
As I've been reporting, Samantha is in her terrible two's phase. I think it could be more properly called the testing two's. She is testing cause and effect, mostly how she can cause me to effectively lose my mind. No, seriously, it's a challenging time for us, but I view it as normal and actually quite an exciting development.
Sam is now using three words sentences quite often. NO COVER UP means that she does not want blankets on her at night. MORE WATCH DUCK means she wants to watch the TV show, Little Bear, but don't ask me why she calls it "Duck." PICK UP YOU means that she wants to be picked up - she still can't get that pronoun thing straight. She loves words, especially big words. Now is the time when I really need to start recording all the funny things she says. If you didn't read about her first joke here on my blog a couple of days ago, you really have to read it now. It made my heart leap with joy!
Sam has started to memorize her books. I think she might even be able to sight-read a couple of words, but it's hard to tell.
Another interesting development is her verbal recounting of events. A while back, Adam and I updated our bedtime routine to include a recap of the day. After reading a book, we turn off the light and talk about what we did that day. She doesn't participate yet; she just listens. But it must have influenced her because now Sam tells us stories about things that happen to her. She tells her stories in a strange stream of consciousness way. For example, she'll look out the window with a glazed look on her face and say, FALL DOWN. Then she'll make a sad face and say, ABBY. If I'm quiet, she'll continue with furrowed brow: FALL DOWN. FALL DOWN. NO. NO PUSHING. ABBY. NO PUSHING. NAUGHTY. FALL DOWN. DIRT. NAUGHTY. NO. It turns out that there is a girl in Sam's school named Abby who likes to push. I think she must have pushed Sam down in the dirt outside, and then was told she was naughty. Another one from tonight: FRUIT CUP. BUY. EAR. EAR. DOCTOR. ANIMAL (still pronounced AM-EE-YOH). PAW. DOCTOR. ANIMAL. SHOE. NAUGHTY. This means that we went to the store and bought fruit cups, and when we got home we discussed taking her to the doctor for a possible ear infection, (but that we also talked recently about taking Toby to the animal doctor because he has a boo boo on his paw), and when we came home Sam would not put her shoes away and she was naughty (even though we didn't call her that.) I love interpreting these soliloquies. When I get it, it's almost the same feeling as when she first started using sign language - it's just a whole new level of communication.
The other thing that is a bit more disconcerting is that her imaginary play usually involves giving her dolls and animals time-outs. She is either giving Girl, her new doll, a time-out, or she is putting her down for a nap. I wonder if these are the two things that she feels the most lack of control over.
It's so hard to be a parent. You can never know if you're doing the right thing, and even if there is no one right thing, you still wonder if you could be doing better. The pace is relentless, the feedback is fuzzy and usually delayed, and when you try to do research and read and learn from others, there is so much information that you can lose sight of your own values and goals. I've always sneered at parents who claim that what they want most for their children is for them to "be happy." Well of course, you want them to be happy, but get specific, folks! Do you believe in education, unconditional love, faith in God, the pursuit of wealth? Come on! But I do find that when I feel uncertainty about how I'm raising Samantha, I look at her and ask myself: is she happy? It's not the best standard to judge by, I know. She might be happy now, but miserable later. But it is something. And I'll tell you, this is one happy kid.
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| Sam 24-28 months |
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| Christmas 2008 |
As I've been reporting, Samantha is in her terrible two's phase. I think it could be more properly called the testing two's. She is testing cause and effect, mostly how she can cause me to effectively lose my mind. No, seriously, it's a challenging time for us, but I view it as normal and actually quite an exciting development.
Sam is now using three words sentences quite often. NO COVER UP means that she does not want blankets on her at night. MORE WATCH DUCK means she wants to watch the TV show, Little Bear, but don't ask me why she calls it "Duck." PICK UP YOU means that she wants to be picked up - she still can't get that pronoun thing straight. She loves words, especially big words. Now is the time when I really need to start recording all the funny things she says. If you didn't read about her first joke here on my blog a couple of days ago, you really have to read it now. It made my heart leap with joy!
Sam has started to memorize her books. I think she might even be able to sight-read a couple of words, but it's hard to tell.
Another interesting development is her verbal recounting of events. A while back, Adam and I updated our bedtime routine to include a recap of the day. After reading a book, we turn off the light and talk about what we did that day. She doesn't participate yet; she just listens. But it must have influenced her because now Sam tells us stories about things that happen to her. She tells her stories in a strange stream of consciousness way. For example, she'll look out the window with a glazed look on her face and say, FALL DOWN. Then she'll make a sad face and say, ABBY. If I'm quiet, she'll continue with furrowed brow: FALL DOWN. FALL DOWN. NO. NO PUSHING. ABBY. NO PUSHING. NAUGHTY. FALL DOWN. DIRT. NAUGHTY. NO. It turns out that there is a girl in Sam's school named Abby who likes to push. I think she must have pushed Sam down in the dirt outside, and then was told she was naughty. Another one from tonight: FRUIT CUP. BUY. EAR. EAR. DOCTOR. ANIMAL (still pronounced AM-EE-YOH). PAW. DOCTOR. ANIMAL. SHOE. NAUGHTY. This means that we went to the store and bought fruit cups, and when we got home we discussed taking her to the doctor for a possible ear infection, (but that we also talked recently about taking Toby to the animal doctor because he has a boo boo on his paw), and when we came home Sam would not put her shoes away and she was naughty (even though we didn't call her that.) I love interpreting these soliloquies. When I get it, it's almost the same feeling as when she first started using sign language - it's just a whole new level of communication.
The other thing that is a bit more disconcerting is that her imaginary play usually involves giving her dolls and animals time-outs. She is either giving Girl, her new doll, a time-out, or she is putting her down for a nap. I wonder if these are the two things that she feels the most lack of control over.
It's so hard to be a parent. You can never know if you're doing the right thing, and even if there is no one right thing, you still wonder if you could be doing better. The pace is relentless, the feedback is fuzzy and usually delayed, and when you try to do research and read and learn from others, there is so much information that you can lose sight of your own values and goals. I've always sneered at parents who claim that what they want most for their children is for them to "be happy." Well of course, you want them to be happy, but get specific, folks! Do you believe in education, unconditional love, faith in God, the pursuit of wealth? Come on! But I do find that when I feel uncertainty about how I'm raising Samantha, I look at her and ask myself: is she happy? It's not the best standard to judge by, I know. She might be happy now, but miserable later. But it is something. And I'll tell you, this is one happy kid.
Plutarch, Playdates, and Perceptiveness
Three Good Things for the day:
- I started the Ten Years of Reading in the Great Books of the Western World series. I found my notes from 2002, and I had read the first few readings by Plato and Aristotle, so now I'm on Plutarch. Last night I read about Lycurgus. The Spartans really were the Soviets of the ancient world, weren't they?
- I exchanged phone numbers and email addresses with my next door neighbor, who seems very nice and has two young kids. I'm going to invite her to my party. I'm really working on this making friends thing.
- When Adam came home from work, he immediately saw what kind of a day I had had, and promptly did the dishes. What a man!
The Thrill Is Gone
We're now on our third Survival Day and the thrill is gone. Samantha isn't all that sick, but she does have a fever and we haven't gotten out of the house at all. Cleaning chores are building up and there's not much food left in the house. And now we're at the point that I hate, where Sam still isn't feeling well but she's figured out that she can get away with murder because Mommy is giving her special treatment.
This time, I vow to end the spoiling the moment the fever breaks. Still, we're in for a whining, screaming, annoying little girl for a few days, at least.
This does remind me, however, to report that our crackdown on bad behavior did work. It took about 10 days, with time-outs slowly diminishing in number and duration, until we started having days without time-outs again. There have been a few incidents since we returned from Florida but overall things are better and one time-out is usually all that is required when Sam breaks the rules.
Still, I feel like I'm missing something in the discipline department. One morning, after we went through the crackdown, I went to get Sam out of her crib in the morning and she was soaking wet. I told her I was going to change her diaper right away. She flipped out. I was so tired, I just didn't want to do the time-out. Adam was still home so I got him to help me hold her so I could change her diaper by force. I haven't done that in a long time, and it was almost impossible, even with 2 people. But it seemed to have an impact on her.
We never, ever hit Samantha. If she hits a person or an animal, we might grab her hand and tell her no hitting before we put her in time-out, and we certainly have to get very physical with her when she gets up off the stairs when she is supposed to be in time-out, but that just means picking up her squirming little body and placing it on the stair with certainty. She has fallen off chairs, hit her head on the ground, and hurt herself in other ways during this process, but it has never been because we intentionally inflicted pain on her.
So if I'm willing to use force to put her in time-out, why am I so hesitant to force a diaper change? I think part of it is that I am afraid I won't be able to win the physical battle. You don't want to engage a child in a physical battle and lose. Should I be physically capable of forcing my 2 year old to let me get a diaper on her? Because I suppose I could do it, if I was willing to use more force. But how would I know if I'm hurting her or how much? Is it ok if she hurts a little in that situation?
But I'm not sure that's the whole issue. I seem to still have some kind of bad premise working, where I'm confusing abuse with something else, and I think it is making me a weak parent. I hate to think what kind of answers I might get, but I'll still ask all my readers: Do you have any advice? When and how do you force your child to do something?
This time, I vow to end the spoiling the moment the fever breaks. Still, we're in for a whining, screaming, annoying little girl for a few days, at least.
This does remind me, however, to report that our crackdown on bad behavior did work. It took about 10 days, with time-outs slowly diminishing in number and duration, until we started having days without time-outs again. There have been a few incidents since we returned from Florida but overall things are better and one time-out is usually all that is required when Sam breaks the rules.
Still, I feel like I'm missing something in the discipline department. One morning, after we went through the crackdown, I went to get Sam out of her crib in the morning and she was soaking wet. I told her I was going to change her diaper right away. She flipped out. I was so tired, I just didn't want to do the time-out. Adam was still home so I got him to help me hold her so I could change her diaper by force. I haven't done that in a long time, and it was almost impossible, even with 2 people. But it seemed to have an impact on her.
We never, ever hit Samantha. If she hits a person or an animal, we might grab her hand and tell her no hitting before we put her in time-out, and we certainly have to get very physical with her when she gets up off the stairs when she is supposed to be in time-out, but that just means picking up her squirming little body and placing it on the stair with certainty. She has fallen off chairs, hit her head on the ground, and hurt herself in other ways during this process, but it has never been because we intentionally inflicted pain on her.
So if I'm willing to use force to put her in time-out, why am I so hesitant to force a diaper change? I think part of it is that I am afraid I won't be able to win the physical battle. You don't want to engage a child in a physical battle and lose. Should I be physically capable of forcing my 2 year old to let me get a diaper on her? Because I suppose I could do it, if I was willing to use more force. But how would I know if I'm hurting her or how much? Is it ok if she hurts a little in that situation?
But I'm not sure that's the whole issue. I seem to still have some kind of bad premise working, where I'm confusing abuse with something else, and I think it is making me a weak parent. I hate to think what kind of answers I might get, but I'll still ask all my readers: Do you have any advice? When and how do you force your child to do something?
Busch Gardens
I've been meaning to write about the great time we had at Busch Gardens in Tampa over Christmas break. It's a combination of an amusement park and a zoo. I really loved it because you could look at all the animals on your way from one ride to another. Also, the park was not too big, so I didn't feel overwhelmed, the grounds were attractive, and there weren't a lot of hills or big loops that take you nowhere. Adam and his stepmom both get motion sick, and Samantha doesn't quite meet the height requirements, so Adam's sister and I went on two coasters: Gwazi, a wooden roller coaster, and SheiKra, which starts with a 200 foot 90 degree drop before twisting you into a pretzel. It was awesome!
We also saw an ice skating show (outdoors in the 75 degree Florida weather!) Our tickets to the park and the show were given to us courtesy of the female lead in the show, another wonderful girl named Samantha. My own Sam loved the show, and when she saw her namesake on the ice, she cried, BARBIE, BARBIE! It was a fantastic day, and really kicked off our vacation in a good way.
Tonight I was reading Go, Dog. Go! to Sam. We got to the page where there is a dog roller skating. She pointed to the skates and said, DOH DOH, which is her way of saying, "what is that called?" I said, "roller skates." She said, BARBIE.
We also saw an ice skating show (outdoors in the 75 degree Florida weather!) Our tickets to the park and the show were given to us courtesy of the female lead in the show, another wonderful girl named Samantha. My own Sam loved the show, and when she saw her namesake on the ice, she cried, BARBIE, BARBIE! It was a fantastic day, and really kicked off our vacation in a good way.
Tonight I was reading Go, Dog. Go! to Sam. We got to the page where there is a dog roller skating. She pointed to the skates and said, DOH DOH, which is her way of saying, "what is that called?" I said, "roller skates." She said, BARBIE.
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