Continuing the tradition of putting every little detail of my life on this blog, here's my latest plan: When I reach my weight-loss goal, I'll reward myself with liposuction. It seems like a strange reward, but I think the only way I'm going to be motivated to lose any weight in the first place is to know that if I get most of the way there, I'll have help for the hardest part.
After my final miscarriage fourteen months ago, Adam and I decided two things: we would make the trip to Italy, and I would get liposuction. We did the first, but I put off the second because I realized if there was any chance that I'd be pregnant again, it would be a waste. Well, now I'm done with pregnancy, and I'm putting that goal back on the agenda. Re-reading the post that discusses that decision makes me realize how far we've come in the past year. We went through so much, but now we're here. I'm watching the babies on the video monitor right now. We had our most excellent honeymoon in Italy. And we're no longer in limbo; the world is open once again to the pursuit of new values.
Anyway, I see the weight-loss as the final chapter in the struggle against the negatives of the past two-and-a-half years of my life. I only gained 47 pounds during the pregnancy itself (yes, with twins, 47 can be called "only"), but there were also the 12 that I had gained during the miscarriages. And then, there were the 10 that I never lost after my pregnancy with Sam. Add all that up on top of the 128 I was at originally and I was at a maximum of 197 pounds! I don't think I'll ever get back down to 128 (or the 115 that was ideal in my twenties); I think 130 is a reasonable weight at my age. So, I'm shooting to get myself down to 140 before I'll get the lipo.
I lost about 27 pounds after the twins were born without any effort, leaving me at 170. I hovered there for weeks, and that's when I knew I was going to have to put some serious effort into this project. There is no way I'm going to allow myself to remain at this weight!
I've never really lost weight before on purpose. One time I lost a few pounds by cutting out snacks after dinner and all sugary beverages for a couple of months. But that is the extent of my dieting experience. Since I had success with that method, I'm using it again and I've lost about 3 pounds. But it's slow going because I've been eating tons of sweets lately. Besides the Halloween candy, I've also had dessert almost every night because my neighbors have been bringing us dinners. I mean, I'm not complaining: I haven't had to cook for a month because of the generosity of my neighbors (and before that I had other gifts of food and my mom was in town). But most of them have brought these huge desserts - cakes, cookies, fudge, etc. And it's hard to resist when it's in the house and my lactating body is just screaming out for calories of any kind.
That is all coming to an end now, so hopefully I'll see some improvement in my efforts. I'll be cooking my own meals and not buying any sweets to tempt me. Exercise is also on the agenda, but honestly, I'm not sure I can fit that in yet. I don't have a goal date in mind - I'll be happy if I can just see a continuous improvement. But May or June would be good. Then it's mommy-makeover for me. Hopefully there will be enough money left over to buy yet another new wardrobe.