I've been (re) listening to Leonard Peikoff's Philosophy of Education lectures in preparation for homeschooling. On the way to pick up Sam from school yesterday, I was in the midst of the "integration" section. Peikoff first spoke of the need for the teacher to always be pointing out and querying the student for integrations - connections, relationships, the big picture, the wider abstractions, etc. Then, he went on to argue that you can't only point out the integrations, but that to avoid floating abstractions you must also constantly ask the student to concretize - to give examples, to find new instances of the same thing, etc. You need to do both. In his words, you need to "shuttle" between both integration and concretization.
Sam came out of school and I turned off the lecture so we could have our usual chat on the way home. As Sam's teacher, Mrs. L. brought Sam up to my car, Toby, who was tagging along that day, barked at her. This happens every time I bring Toby along. He's a barker anyway, but he gets particularly protective of Sam in the car, and appears quite menacing. Mrs. L. is always upset and scared by his barking, and this time she was particularly startled and left the car quickly. I felt terrible that she had been so upset and said something to Sam about it.
As we were driving off, I thought of a connection. I told Sam, "You know, Mrs. L. is a good person, right? And Toby is a good dog, too. But they don't get along, do they? See, sometimes both people, or animals, can be good, but that doesn't mean they make good friends. Just like you and [our neighbor] C. You might both be good people, but you just don't get along."
"Oh yeah," she said. "Mrs. L. is a good person, and Toby is a good dog, but they don't get along. And I'm a good person, and Jinx was a good cat, but we didn't get along either."
We bought our piano in November of 2009. We bought it because Sam seemed so interested in playing. We were given some great lesson books and other materials. In January of 2010 I sat down with Sam one time with the first lesson book and it's been gathering dust ever since. It's not that she wasn't ready for piano; it's that she wasn't ready to take direction from me.
For two years, Sam has occasionally plucked at the piano by herself (doing it "my own way" in defiance of any instruction that I might offer), never learning much, but recently showing signs of being able to hunt down notes by ear. I've also fiddled around with the piano, and we've enjoyed the recorded music on it quite often. Guests have played for us. But still, it was mostly just an expensive decoration.
A couple of weeks ago, Sam told me that she wanted to learn to play Twinkle Twinkle. I think she has been playing music on the bells at school, and I had helped her pick out the notes on the piano a few times. (As long as I showed her the notes in the way that she told me to, she would cooperate.) I got the sense that she might be ready this time, so I asked her if she would like me to give her piano lessons, and she said yes!
We've had four or five lessons now. Sam will sit still and observe as I give her a demonstration, and she will attempt to perform the tasks as demonstrated. We've gone over the proper sitting position. We've learned the correct way to hold her hands and how her fingers should strike the keys. We've numbered her fingers and played "wiggle number four!" type games. We've played notes with specific fingers up and down the scale. We've tapped out quarter notes and half notes. Each lesson is short - maybe 15 minutes - and we always go back a couple of lessons in the book as a review. At the end of every lesson, we have "free time" where she gets to learn a song in her old, comfortable way - I point to the keys she should play and she hits them with her index finger.
I didn't have any plan at all when we started, except that I would use this particular book. The short lessons, the reviews, and the "free time" all came about naturally, and I realize that I've internalized a lot of the pedagogical principles that I've been studying for the past few years as I've been preparing for homeschooling. That is gratifying. A little bit more deliberate was my use of Montessori language; I told Sam that first I would give a "presentation" and then it would be her turn, just like at school. I've tried this in the past with her to no avail. But now it is working and we're having fun! I am teaching Sam something in a formal way and we are having a good time!
I don't know if this is a normal parenting experience or not, but this is a huge breakthrough for Sam and me. Since she was about two-and-a-half, Sam has generally shown no respect for any teaching I might offer. The quotation marks around "my own way" in the second paragraph were not scare quotes. I was quoting her literal response to just about every challenging thing I've attempted to show her or teach her for the past couple of years. The fact that I would show her a method automatically made it wrong to her, and she would insist on doing it "my own way." Writing letters of the alphabet, zipping up her coat, putting on her gloves, tracing sandpaper letters, putting her glass of milk on the far side of the plate, opening the car door, reciting a poem, putting together a jigsaw puzzle - anything. If I tried to teach it, she rebelled and insisted on doing it "her way." Most often, her way didn't work, but that didn't seem to matter to her. At first this was very upsetting to me and I kept pushing, but eventually I backed off simply out of frustration. If she didn't want to learn from me, I couldn't force her. So I kept offering, but as soon as she resisted, I stopped trying and allowed her to wallow in her incompetence. And in many areas, she really is quite incompetent for her age.
The change is not just with the piano. She is showing me the same respect in other areas now as well. A few days ago, she allowed me to teach her how to put a towel on a towel bar. Seriously, she is five years old and she had never learned this simple task. They use hooks at school and we have hooks for her coats, but every time she used a towel in the bathroom, it ended up on the floor. I'd watched her try to do it on her own and she just could not figure out how to even up the sides and use gravity, but there was no way she would allow me to show her. This time, she observed and then proudly did it on her own. And she keeps doing it - at least when she remembers that she knows how.
Sam has had the same rebellious attitude towards her dad, but quite so strong. At school she has always taken direction - no problem. And I've seen her accept instruction from adult friends of ours and from her peers. So I've always known this was part of her natural and necessary separation process from her parents. I just didn't know if it would ever change, and that has been a huge worry for me as a future homeschooler. No matter how Montessori-ish you make a homeschool environment, the student still needs to respect the teacher.
And Sam's personality has not changed. I'm still going to need to be the most unobtrusive type of teacher for her. Any whiff of an attempt to control her will cause her to rebel. Finding ways to activate her internal motivation will be my biggest challenge, I know. But the fact that she now recognizes that I know things and that I can help her without controlling her is huge. My task now is not to screw it up. I need to continue to give her examples of ways in which I can help her learn faster than she would do on her own, but I need to abstain from pushing. If I can do that, I think we might actually have a chance at success with homeschooling.
Sammy just reached her last baby milestone: she is done with nighttime diapers. Last night she had her first dry night.
We had so much trouble with potty training with Sam that I just couldn't bring myself to push her on the nighttime thing, even though five years old seems way too old for diapers. We talked her into trying a couple of times over the past year, but she wasn't excited about it and she didn't even wake up when her bed was soaked.
Then, suddenly, she was ready, and she asked to wear her special underwear (training pants). She didn't wear them every night at first, and sometimes she would wear them to start out, but then she'd change into a diaper in the middle of the night rather than use the potty. I allowed her to do it her way. I suppose she might not be completely done with the diapers. I'll leave them in her drawer and let her decide. But her first dry night is such a big deal.
She's peed in the underwear a few times but they have some absorbency, so only once have we had to change her sheets. (And it was cleaning day so the maids actually did it for us!) I'm sure there will be some middle of the night changing of sheets in our future, but what a relief that we've gotten this far without that ugly chore.
I am using rewards for this because I promised it to her a long time ago and a deal is a deal. We gave her a star for a dry night and when she gets three in a row we'll go out for ice cream. But I know that isn't what is motivating her, or else she would have done this long ago. She's just finally ready.
And that is our Sam in a nutshell. She does things on her own timetable, and that typically is slower than most children. But nothing we can say or do will speed her up. Then, when she finally chooses to do something, she does it expertly.
Sam was looking at a picture of six birds on a box, which were in two groups of three, and within the groups, there were two small birds and one large bird. She counted, pointing:
One One, two One One, two One, two, three, four, five, six So one plus two plus one plus two equals six. And one plus one plus two plus two equals six.
Wow! But the other day, we had this conversation:
Me: Sam, what is four plus zero. Sam: Ummmm, five. Me: No. Remember, zero means nothing. Sam: Ummm, six. Me: No. Look, I'm holding up four fingers, and I'm going to add nothing to them. Zero. So how many do I have? Sam: Four! Me: Yes! Now, what is seven plus zero. Sam: Eight. [repeat same explanation] Me: Now, what is one plus zero? Sam: Two. [and so on]
It's really hard to get an idea of what she understands and what she doesn't. I'm thinking this means that she still has to have physical objects to count. The zero conversation happened in the car and the only time she could get it was when I held up fingers.
Anyway, it's all fun stuff! I love to try to figure out what's going on in that budding little brain of hers.
On the Rational Parenting List, we're discussing the question of why anyone would teach or learn Latin, a dead language. Here is my contribution:
I took a course at a homeschooling conference that addressed this question - why teach Latin? The answers they gave, as I recall, were:
To improve English vocabulary and understanding (Latin roots)
To open up new ways of studying history (reading original Latin texts, I suppose)
To expose the mind to the structure of Latin, which is logical and almost mathematical, especially as opposed to English
To gain the benefits of being bilingual, regardless of the language (not the practicality of the language, but the opening of the mind to the idea that concepts can be represented by more than one concrete)
To make it easier to learn other Latin-based languages.
There is also Biblical Latin (I forget what you call it), which was another reason for those so inclined.
Actually, I'm not sure they included #4 or if that comes from me. I intend to teach my children Latin (but beginning in 4th grade, not Kindergarten! [as someone had discussed]), and my reasons are primarily #1, 3, and 4, especially #1. I do not intend to teach them to speak, but only to read and write Latin, and if they are very resistant, I wouldn't push it too hard as a subject. But the final reason I want to teach it is because I want to learn it for those same reasons, and so does Adam. We plan to learn it as a family.
Week 13 has been the week of busting out. I'm busting out of my clothes and I'm busting out of my lethargy.
Finally, my fatigue has really started to ease off. I'm still not sleeping well, so I'm still napping most days, but when I'm awake, I have energy. What a relief! I forgot what it is like not to have to drag myself through every daily task, and to actually want to do things other than lie in bed.
As a result, I've started in on a lot of the work that has built up over the past two months. Just in the past week, I've accomplished so much! I pulled out all of my old maternity clothes and reorganized my closet accordingly. I also received three maternity t-shirts for my birthday and a ton of used maternity clothes from a friend, so I might not have to do much shopping for quite a while. I did have to buy two new bras, though. My wardrobe is about 60% maternity clothes already, and I'm still in my first trimester. I love it!
I also started in on my most exciting project: developing my curriculum for Sam's first homeschool year. (I have decided to hire a mommy's helper for a few hours a day and give it a shot. Thanks for all the helpful comments!) This won't start until June 2012, but I'm so excited about it that I have to start now, and besides, I'm afraid I won't be able to do much once the twins arrive. I already have about 10 pages of notes, and I'm feeling great about the whole thing. I have a pretty clear idea of what I want to do, but there are still a few big gaps: I'm not happy with anything I've seen for science in first grade, I still have to compare four math curriculums, I need to compile a list of books to use for literature and reading skills, and other things like that. But I know where to go to figure those things out. There are no big mysteries left. I just have to put it all together, and remember to keep it as flexible as possible within my standards. Of course, I'll write much more about this as I get the plans together.
I think I've found the perfect stroller. It's super expensive, but I think the stroller is going to be the most important piece of equipment I buy for the twins, so it will be worth it. I still have to go test it in person, but if it's as cool as it looks, it's mine!
I'm trying to start tackling the home improvement projects we need to complete before the twins arrive. I've been working on getting new blinds for the past two months and all I've accomplished is to buy the materials for the sliding glass doors. I still need to figure out what to buy for the windows and get it all installed. Then, we have to remodel three bathrooms, create storage space in the attic, set up the nursery, and clean out our "junk room," which is where I'll set up our homeschool. Those things are the absolute minimum we need to get done before September, and it's stressing me out because I'm very slow about these projects.
But before I get too involved in those things, we need to buy a new car. That is even more critical than anything else because we can't fit three kids in our SUV. Well, maybe we could get three car seats in the back seat - I don't know. But I'm not planning to find out. We need a minivan, and I'm not going car shopping with two infants and Sam to take care of. So that is next on the agenda.
I still haven't finished planning our Italy trip, either. We leave in exactly three weeks and I don't even know how to get a cell phone that works internationally yet. I still haven't booked the museums. I haven't thought about what to pack. Ack!
But, at least I'm capable of doing things now, so I'm making progress. Man, that fatigue was so bad! Now you know why I haven't been blogging. And I probably won't get back into a groove with blogging until we get back from Italy. It's kind of low on my priority list right now.
Oh, by the way, both twins passed the screening test! It doesn't mean much - it only rules out a few things, and really, it doesn't even rule them out, it just tells us that the chances are very slim. But it was another good milestone. My next ob appointment is tomorrow, and I'm actually going without Adam, even though I think I'm having an ultrasound. This will be my first solo ultrasound (out of 20 or so) since I found out about my first miscarriage in September 2009. The fact that I'm comfortable enough to do it is a big milestone, too.
I'm eleven weeks pregnant today. Nothing scary has happened for so long that this is starting to feel normal. I think I'm even taking it for granted a bit - that I'm pregnant and we're having two babies. But I don't see that as necessarily a bad thing. It just means that success is becoming normal again. That's the way it should be.
I forgot to mention last week that I finally stopped the meds. Since we were going on that weekend trip to Williamsburg, Adam and I decided to end the progesterone injections and the estrogen pills that Friday. My nurse at the infertility clinic told me to expect some light spotting, which I dreaded, but it never happened. I also didn't notice any immediate change in my pregnancy symptoms. What is strange, though, is that as soon as we stopped the twice-a-day, pain-in-the-literal-ass injections, I completely forgot about them. I didn't revel in the fact that we no longer had to do them - the whole thing just disappeared from my mind. A couple of days ago I threw out all of the old meds and needles and that had more of an impact on me than the actual stopping. It was such a relief to have my bathroom counter back and to throw that stuff away, thinking that I'll never need it again.
I keep thinking that my fatigue is easing up a bit, but then I keep being wrong. I guess what is happening is that I'm having a good day here and there, so that's progress. I still spend more than twelve hours a day in bed, though. I'm glad American Idol and Survivor have started up again so I can break up my reading with a different lazy activity.
I'm starting on my quest to understand what I'm going to need to do to prepare for the twins. I've signed up for a newsletter and I found an on-line magazine. I plan to join my local chapter of Mothers of Multiples, but I have to wait until twelve weeks for that. That group is holding a big consignment sale a week from Saturday. I want to go, but I still have no idea what I'll need. I might just go to browse and mingle.
I did buy two maternity t-shirts. I haven't even broken out my old maternity clothes yet, but I really wanted to buy something new, and it felt great. I don't want to wear anything else but my two t-shirts. Why do I love maternity clothes so much?
I've been thinking more about what to do about Sammy's schooling. My original plan was to homeschool her after Montessori primary, which would begin in June 2012. But when I found out we were having twins who will be nine months old at that time, I realized that I was in some deep doo doo.
My first instinct was to keep her in Montessori for first through third grades. That's not a bad option, but it is expensive, and I was really looking forward to starting homeschooling, so it's a bit of a let down. Now, I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't rule out homeschooling right away after all. If we don't accomplish all that much the first year, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I don't feel any kind of time-pressure to complete Sam's schooling. In fact, I've always imagined that we're going to run out of pre-college material long before she is 18, and that she'll be taking classes at a community college and/or doing other things in those teenage years. So that's not the big issue. The big issues are that I don't want her to be bored and I don't want her to be isolated. I've always planned on doing actual school at home for just a few hours a day and then doing a lot of activities (academic or otherwise) with other kids after that. Will I be able to get her out of the house when I have two toddlers to schlep around with us? And I don't want her mind to stagnate. I don't think it will hurt her to get a half-year or even a year behind where she might have been in regular school, but I do think it will hurt her if she is not challenged for a long period of time.
A couple of people have gently suggested public school to me, but that is not on the table. In regard to my children's education, I follow the doctor's principle: "First, do no harm." Considering the state of our educational system, I think that maxim applies here even more than in medicine. I mean, if I had to work, or if something else made it impossible to do anything except send her to public school, I'd do it, but it would be my last resort.
So, that part is not really a report on my pregnancy, but that's the kind of thing my pregnancy is making me think about. I've actually been quite stressed for the past week or so. I can't sleep at night, and my mystery pain has not-so-mysteriously returned a little bit. I notice that I constantly have my hands and feet clenched, and I have to consciously relax them throughout the day. Adam and I had to make a major life-decision last week. He was offered a job in Williamsburg, Virginia, and we seriously considered moving. In the end, we decided to stay here, but it was a close call, and the whole process was intense. That kicked my stress into high gear, and I'm having to work really hard to get out of the cycle, since there are so many other new things to think about lately, and I have so little energy to address them.
But I do notice that I am much more self-aware about stress than I was even a year ago. This level of stress is what I used to live with all the time. Now, I have skills to fight it, and I'm using them, and they are working. That's a good thing, because my whole life is only going to get more intense, more chaotic, and more busy from now on. And damn if I don't see that as a challenge and an opportunity, instead of a burden that comes along with my values. This is what life is all about. This is the way it should be. This is normal.
I discovered something very interesting a few weeks ago: reading sentences is a separate skill from reading words. I'm sure all of my books on phonics and reading already told me that, but I don't remember anything about it. I learned it from Sam herself when she started reading to me from her Bob Books.
We got her the Bob Books a few months ago and she's read parts of them a number of times. All of the words are easy for her now ("cat," "and," "bag," "hat," etc.) but she would still make guesses based on the pictures and what she had memorized. She didn't seem interested in reading a story all the way through, and now I know why. She didn't really get the concept of reading words in a sequence to make up a sentence. I figured she would have learned this from the thousands of hours we've read out loud to her, but I suppose she couldn't really understand it until she did it herself.
When we were reading together a few weeks ago, she had the breakthrough moment. She would read a word or two - say, "Dot and" - but then she would get confused. She'd jump to the next page, or start the sentence over again, or just flounder. I realized that I had to help her understand that the series of words would add up to a unit. She knows that letters and words go from left-to-right (well, most of the time she knows that) but she still didn't really get the idea that if she kept reading, she'd get an entire thought instead of just a word. I don't really know how I helped her. I think I mostly just put my finger underneath each word to guide her. But within a few minutes, she got it - I guess she was just mentally ready this time. I observed her go from confusion to understanding. I knew when she made the mental connection by the pride in her voice when she read, "Mat sat on Sam." (It's a nice coincidence that the main character in the first book is named Sam.) I could just hear it in her voice - that "aha" moment. And I could also hear it in the fluid way she read the sentence as a whole. She had never done that before. It was an awesome moment.
Now I have to go back to my phonics books and find out if they really do address this. In the meantime, I'm really glad we got Sam the Bob Books.
LePort Schools is a group of schools (pre-school through junior high) in Orange County, California. I have a few friends who work there, and I attended a course at OCON this summer given by Ray Girn, their CEO.
LePort recently unveiled a new web site. It holds an amazing wealth of information that can be useful for just about all parents. I'm particularly excited about it because of how much it is going to help me with homeschooling. It may sound crazy, but this web site will replace Susan Wise Bauer's The Well Trained Mind as my homeschooling bible. It's that rich, and that good.
The web site goes beyond giving some vague mission statement with a hodgepodge of ideas thrown in, as most school web sites do. In dozens of organized, easy-to-navigate pages, rich with content (and beautiful photos), it covers just about everything that makes LePort what it is: pedagogy, curriculum, motivation, teacher qualifications, enrichment, personal development, and more. Every principle is clearly related to the school's mission:
Our Goal: A Student Who Flourishes As A Joyous Child Today, and As A Successful Adult Tomorrow
To give you a taste of what you will find at this web site, here are a few quotes.
From the page, How We Teach Mathematics (this is one paragraph of fifteen on this page, and this page is one of five discussing grades 4-8 math alone):
The facts practice component helps students build computational speed and retain basic facts such as mental multiplication (9 x 12 = 108), fraction-percentage equivalents (1/8 = 12.5%) and measurement conversions (1 mi = 1760 yds). Students start each class with a timed facts practice quiz that encourages them to improve their scores day after day. When someone says, "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep, Have you any _______", the word wool immediately jumps to mind. No effort is required. The goal of our facts practice program is to enable our students to similarly access a range of math facts without effort—so that they can instead use that effort towards analyzing a complex problem.
We teach science based on observations our students can make of the world. This ensures that science remains about discovering the world, not memorizing mere jargon. For example, in astronomy, a fourth or fifth grader learns to identify some useful and interesting constellations, and spends time observing the regular motions of the planets, moon and sun. He learns to predict their positions, and therefore develops skills in thinking like a scientist.
At LePort, we motivate by the “detective story principle”: we start with the child’s natural desire to learn, and appeal to that desire by presenting, at the start of a lesson, material that raises a question in the child’s mind. Once we have awakened his curiosity, we then present him with the content of the lesson – content he is eager to understand and apply because of the way it has been presented to him.
If you go to the Literature pages, you'll find a partial list of books that they use in their curriculum. If you go to the Mathematics pages, you'll find out which well-known homeschooling curriculum they've modified for their own use. The Language Arts pages are particularly helpful to me because I've been struggling with how to properly outline my goals for Sam in what was always thrown together as "English" when I was in school. There are concrete examples of all kinds of things they do at LePort, like playing "Editor in Chief" in grammar, actual word problems used in 4th grade math, etc. It's really impossible to capture the breadth and depth of information available. The only thing missing is the actual curriculum! Oh, and they have a newsletter.
Outside of those who are actually considering LePort schools and homeschoolers, I think anyone who is actively searching for a school in any part of the country, or even those vaguely dissatisfied with their child's current school should check out this web site. LePort is what a school might and ought to be, and this site is what a school web site might and ought to be.
I can't believe how busy I've been this summer! I'm having trouble unloading the dishwasher and getting the laundry from the washer to the dryer, and the whole house is covered in dog hair and apple juice. (Thank god the maids are coming for their monthly visit on Wednesday.) I think this means that I'm having fun!
My Big Project for the summer was supposed to be getting a new deck installed. It took me about 3 months just to get 3 quotes, and I did a terrible job because each time I finally got someone out here, I asked for something different, so I can't even compare the bids. It worked out pretty well, though, because as soon as my parents arrived in town, I asked them for advice on the project and now I know exactly what I want. But now I need to start over with the bids. If we get it completed by winter, I'll be happy.
Adam has been busy painting parts of the house and installing new light switches. I don't know where he is finding the time, but he's doing a better job than I am at keeping up with everything.
Sam and I have done no Montessori work at all this month, since my parents arrived in town for the month of August. It seems that every moment we're not visiting with them is spent doing errands or other life-maintenance activities. Or, if we are at home and looking for something to do, all we have the energy for is watching TV. Mostly we just hang out with my parents, but we've gone to the US Geological Society, the Washington National Cathedral, and the county fair. (We might have done more than that but it's all a blur.) We still haven't made it to the water park or the aquarium. One month is just not enough time!
Sam has "slept over" at my parents' motorhome twice since they arrived, so Adam and I have had a couple of great date nights. First, we went to Wolf Trap (the local outdoor concert venue) to see Bugs Bunny at the Symphony, which was mostly for Adam, but which I also enjoyed. Then the next week we saw Hal Sparks' stand up act at a small theater. He was hilarious, and it was a great night.
So, this summer is turning into one long vacation. It's actually been really nice to have Sam at home with me all day, instead of in school. I was so worried that we'd run out of things to do, but the opposite has been true. We can't seem to fit it all in.
In a few weeks, Sam will turn 4 and then she'll go back to school. I'll have a lot more time for the exciting projects I planned at OCON, blogging, and maybe even fiction-writing. Hopefully I'll be able to make the transition back to that mindset - you know, the one where you actually work on long-range projects.
How did I end up back on the academic calendar? I swear, once we're done with Montessori we're going to homeschool year round so we can even out the fun and the work just a bit. Even though work is fun and fun is work, I like each day to have a little of each.
Sam didn't do too much "school" work in the past week, but it's a wonderful option to have when we are not busy with other fun activities. I think it is still working out well that she just chooses her Montessori work when she wants to. She might go from playing with her dolls to working seriously on polishing, to torturing the cat.
In the past week, Sam did more polishing and cutting, and did the metal insets one time. (I'm shocked that she isn't working with those more often.) We added a few new activities. Since she can't use the hole punch yet, I punched a row of holes in a small piece of paper and showed her how to hold it on top of another piece of paper and fill in the holes with a felt-tip marker to make rows of holes. She liked that, but only for about 5 minutes.
I also made my own version of the spindle box. I wanted to do the number rods first, but I hadn't figured out how to make them. Luckily, Sam seems to be doing well with the spindle box, which in my case, is an egg carton and macaroni:
You just dump out all the macaroni and then put the right number of pieces back in each cup. The first time Sam tried it she was all over the map, but today she got them all right except for 8 and 9. It's fun to watch her progress.
We also did some non-Montessori games that were fun and educational. I had brought home some dice for her from Las Vegas, so we played "highest wins." We each rolled one die and then figured out who had the higher number. Sam liked that a lot except that we had some bad luck and I won much too often for her taste. (She is just beginning to want to win games.)
Then we played with a game called First Words Puzzle Set which is just a huge set of cardboard cards, each with a picture and a word, and each of which is split into two puzzles pieces. If we only use about 5 cards, Sam can put the puzzle pieces together and she can read some of the words. She likes to do that kind of game with me but occasionally she will play it by herself. This video is from a few weeks ago, but it shows her playing Zingo by herself, and how pleased she is when she "wins:"
Along with the Objectivist Round Up, I occasionally submit posts to the Carnival of Homeschooling. I hope to submit more and more as time goes by! Check out the latest edition at The Common Room.
I can now say that I am officially a homeschooler! Well, sort of. Sam will still go to Montessori preschool, but we got started with "summer school at home" this week and we're having a blast!
I had intended to start out in a formal, Montessori way: a dedicated time for school, starting with circle time; a separate space for the Montessori materials, away from toys and other distractions; and me 100% prepared to give proper demonstrations for everything.
Not!
I didn't have time to do any work on this project at OCON as I had intended. We got home and I was totally swamped but I knew that if I didn't get started right away, the whole summer might pass us by. I wanted to jump right in, but I only had a few things set up, and some were only half-ready, and I didn't know the proper way to do anything much at all. I guess "prepared environment" really means a lot of prep work, huh?
I did have a few things ready, so I decided to just allow Sam to work on them during the normal course of the day. This destroys any ambition of having her concentrate for long periods of time or being totally free to choose any work that she is interested in. I'd like to move towards that goal, but for now, at least she spends some time doing structured activities independently.
Here is what our little homeschool looks like:
I don't have enough open shelving, so the drawers have to suffice. Some of them contain Montessori work and some contain other toys. Not ideal. The colored bins on the right hold regular toys and you can see a doll-house on the floor right next to the table.
I had to put the metal insets in a different room because they took up so much space:
We have two mostly unused bedrooms in this house, either of which could serve as a dedicated school room and solve these problems, but they are being used for storage now, so it would be an enormous effort to clean them out. Also, they are not on the main level of the house where my computer is, and where the kitchen is. I have a feeling that Sam would not take well to working in an isolated room like that, and I would have nothing to do. I do plan to use one of those bedrooms for homeschooling when it's a full-time thing, at which time I'll move my office into the same room.
For our work, we started with polishing pennies, the metal insets, and cutting along a line. For the pennies, I set up all the needed items on a tray:
I demonstrated how to place one penny on a napkin (which she has to get from her kitchen cabinet), to take a Q-Tip, dip it in the lemon juice and roll it on the side of the glass to avoid drips, and to rub the penny. We had a few shiny, clean pennies, so I showed her what the penny should look like. When she is satisfied (and I leave this up to her), she puts the shiny pennies in the other cup. (For all of you die-hards out there, yes I do put the dirty pennies on the left and the clean ones on the right - always left-to-right! This was how the tray looked after she finished.) As soon as I can remember to buy actual lemons at the store, we'll add squeezing the lemons as part of the process. For now, I refill the little cup with bottled lemon juice every night.
I set up the metal insets for her and reviewed for myself how they are to be used. So I'm prepared to demonstrate, but she hasn't used them yet. As part of the set-up, I had to cut a lot of paper into squares the same size as the metal insets, and I ended up with a lot of small pieces of paper. I decided to use it for "cutting along the line." This is exactly what it sounds like: the child uses scissors to cut along a line drawn on paper. I created a series of paper with lines and Sam spent about an hour working on this on Friday, so I suspect I'm going to have to make a new set of paper with lines every night for a while. Here is a video of what I made for this exercise:
After I took the video I decided to eliminate the papers with more than one line. I didn't do that in the first go-around and now I'm thinking it was a bad idea. Another part of this exercise that Sammy really likes is that when she cuts the squiggles, she ends up with two pieces of paper that look a bit like jigsaw puzzle pieces. She enjoys putting them back together again. The paper and a pair of scissors are on a tray just like the one for the pennies, and she can bring it to her table to work on any time she chooses.
I also tried to teach her how to use a hole-punch to make rows of holes, but she didn't have the hand strength to use it. I have another, similar exercise dealing with rows that I'll set up this week, though. I'm really glad that I wrote up my earlier blog post detailing all of the activities I wanted to do - I've been referring to it often.
So far, this is going really well! It's low-pressure and we both are having fun. If it continues to work well, I might not ever make it more formal. Thank god she has her real Montessori school nine months out of the year. I think it would be really, really hard, if not impossible (without other children) to create the same kind of environment at home. But I must say, this is an auspicious beginning for both of us!
The Ayn Rand Institute has opened the Free Books for Teachers program to homeschoolers! This means that you can get free copies of Ayn Rand's novels plus teacher's guides for your homeschooled children. You can find all the recources at this new section of the ARI web site. Excellent!
Many non-Objectivists seem obsessed with the question of how we Objectivist parents will expose our children to the works of Ayn Rand. As a parent, I've never seriously considered whether, how, or when I would suggest that Samantha read Ayn Rand's novels or non-fiction, although I've had idle moments of curiosity about it, and I've asked children of Objectivist parents about their experiences. But I don't think Adam and I have ever even discussed it. It's just such a non-issue.
I'm much more concerned with raising a thinking, independent, selfish child. Sure, you can get these ideas (and choose to develop these virtues) by reading Ayn Rand, as most of us first-generation-ers have. But proper parenting is a much more direct route to a happy life. There are so many things that are more fundamental in parenting than is reading Ayn Rand. I won't write about those things here. If you read my blog, you know what I'm talking about. But as emphasis, I'd say that even something as simple as fostering a love of reading is more important than putting The Fountainhead on Samantha's nightstand, as obvious as that seems.
Having said that, if I do my job and Sam makes good choices (she does have free will, you know!), I can't imagine that she won't be interested in reading the books that have had such a profound impact on both her parents' lives. (Adam and I met at an ARI event, and that alone is sure to intrigue her. I'll save that story for another day.) And, if I've done my job, Sam will be ripe and ready for the ideas.
All of that is said strictly as a parent, but if I am homeschooling Samantha as a teenager, Anthem and The Fountainhead will certainly be a part of the literature curriculum, as I believe they should be for all high-schoolers. I haven't thought much about any other of her works, but I suppose I would also include Ayn Rand's essay, Philosophy, Who Needs It if we were ever to delve into basic philsophy because there really is no better introduction to the subject. But that is a decision to be made much later.
In the meantime, it is very exciting to me that ARI has recognized homeschoolers in this way, and I hope that many will take advantage of the free books offer.
A few days ago I was lying in bed, stressing out about how I'm ever going to manage homeschooling. It's still quite a few years off and I'm doing all I can to prepare, but I still sometimes get overwhelmed with the whole idea.
The thing that I was mulling over this time was how I'm going to manage the transition from school to home learning. Sam is going to be in Montessori for at least three years, and I'm considering keeping her there for first and second grade, too. Especially if she stays in school through second grade, I worry about that transition. Knowing what I know about her personality, I don't think she will simply accept the idea of school at home, especially with mom as the teacher. I started thinking about ways that I could ease that transition.
And suddenly it hit me - I can homeschool her each summer! I don't know why this didn't occur to me before, but it really addresses four issues: it will help get Sam used to school at home, it will give me practice at this teaching thing without much pressure, it will keep the continuity of her education going year-round, and it will fill up some of that scary empty space during the summer that I've been dreading. (I plan to homeschool year-round, too.)
So for the past week or so I've been planning. I'm going to stick with the Montessori method and materials for the most part because it is what both Sam and I know and because, obviously, I think it is the best kind of pre-school education. Along with advice from a few friends, I'm working almost exclusively from Elizabeth Hainstock's Teaching Montessori in the Home: The Pre-school Years. I also plan to use some activities from June R. Oberlander's Slow and Steady, Get Me Ready. (Both are indispensible books for educational activities from 0-5 years old.) Please don't hesitate to give me any suggestions or pointers in the comments, if you have experience.
I'm going to try a two hour work cycle, three days a week to start, but we'll back off of that if it is too much in the beginning. If it goes well, we might increase the amount of school, but this is supposed to be fun and low-pressure. However, school time is going to be clearly defined; we will start right after breakfast, we will be dressed, and we will have a dedicated school area in the house. I have plans for a special (kid-sized) table and chairs, a few bookshelves for the materials which will be closed off during the rest of the day, and a rug for working on the floor. We'll start with circle time (15 minutes?), which I hope will put us both in the right mind-set. Some activities I'm considering for circle time are:
Reading (will try non-fiction, descriptive library books instead of her usual fiction)
Walking with a bell without ringing it (one of my most distinct memories from my own Montessori education)
Then we'll spend the balance of the time on independent work. When Sam doesn't need me, I plan to read a book on the sofa nearby and watch her out of the corner of my eye. Here is the menu of activities that I've come up with so far, with links to descriptions of the work in many cases. (The page numbers are all from Hainstock, except for SAS which refers to the Oberlander book - they are descriptions of how to demonstrate the task to the child.)
Cutting paper along a line (pre-prepared paper with various types of lines)
The hole punch row (SAS, pg 192)
Polishing pennies with lemon juice. Include squeezing the lemons into the water. (Come up with my own demonstration by practicing myself first)
We may not need all of these, or we may need a lot more for the summer, but this is what I'll start with. Most of these activities are things that I know she is already doing in school, but which will probably still challenge and interest her.
I'm not much of a make-it-yourself kind of person, so I had to buy some of the materials. I bought the metal insets, the sandpaper letters, a puzzle, and the dressing frames. Everything else uses materials that I already have or can be fashioned from other, common household objects. (I'll make my own spindle box and spindles from an egg carton and marbles or pasta or something, but that's about the extent of my craftiness.)
In doing this research, I came across this lovely video that explains the idea behind the "practical life" exercises in a Montessori school. (Oh my god, what a beautiful environment in this school!) It also includes a detailed demonstration of the bow tying dressing board, which I think shows how Montessori is fundamentally different from so many other pre-schools. From what I gather, many pre-schools teach practical skills. But in Montessori, each skill is isolated and then placed into a specific order, each movement is precise, time is allowed for as much practice as the child needs, and, of course, the child can work independently after a few demonstrations. Montessori is not all about "freedom" and self-expression. I believe the Montessori Method does foster independence and creative thinking, but only by means of teaching a child how to master himself and his environment. And there are specific, objective ways to accomplish this.
Up until a few days ago, Sam could not pronounce the sound "sp." She used a foon to eat her cereal, she liked to sing the itsy-bitsy-fider, and nothing was better than cleaning up the table with a fonge.
I don't focus much on her pronunciation - I'll just repeat the word back to her correctly on occasion. I've been told that she speaks quite well for her age and I've always figured that this is something children fix on their own, so it's not a big issue to me. But I noticed that Sammy was starting to get frustrated more and more often when people didn't understand her, so I figured it was time to start doing a little bit more practice. She has other, typical preschooler speech issues like an occasional lisp and not speaking loudly enough, but the "sp" thing seemed like something very concrete that we could work on, and something that she was probably capable of correcting. I also had a suspicion that working on making these sounds might help with her reading.
Spoon and sponge are words that she uses all the time, so I focused on those. I started by making a big joke about how I didn't know what she meant when she told me that she was out of clean foons. "What's a foon?" I would ask in a silly way, and eventually, I'd say, "Oh, you mean a spoon!" Luckily, this made her giggle and it got us off on the right foot. She'd listen intently as I would separate out the sounds of "sp" and "oon." I showed her the motions my mouth and tongue made. To my surprise, she could easily make the sound "sp" and she could even say, "sp" and then a moment later, "oon." She just couldn't link them up because she had this bad habit with the "f" sound. I made a lot of jokes about there being no "f" in spoon or sponge, and a lot of times, she would say foon or fonge just to make me laugh.
This went on for a few weeks. We only worked on it when the mood struck one of us, and I was glad to see her putting an effort into it and having fun trying. About a week ago, Adam was working on it with her and she got it! She's been noticing the "sp" sound in all kinds of words ever since, and she is really proud to feak, I mean speak, correctly.
And it turns out that I was right about the reading, because the very next day I caught her sounding out words in a way that I'd never heard her do it before. I think putting that "sp" together with the "oon" finally made it click for her that all the individual letter sounds can be strung together to make words. This is where she's been mostly stuck for quite a long time now. She can get some words, but much of the time, I'll say the individual sounds for something like, "H-E-N" and I'll say them closer and closer together until I feel like she can't help but just hear the word, but she still won't get it. She does a little bit better with spelling than with reading. But the other day I caught her sounding out "hop," "pop," and "mop." That's progress!
Another thing I noticed about the reading is that she was doing it alone. That figures. Just like with the potty, she does a much better job when left alone. If I try to help in any way, she is more interested in resisting me (or hiding her skills from me?) than in accomplishing anything. (Did you notice that she finally got the "sp" with Adam, not with me? This is something I'm going to have to account for when it comes time to do real homeschooling. I'm probably going to have to bend over backwards to avoid any sense of me being the authority.) Luckily, she can play Starfall by herself, as well as all the activities she is doing at Montessori. Still, I wish I could find some other kind of game that she could use by herself that would focus on this particular reading skill. I looked for one of those electronic gadgets, but I didn't see anything that seemed right. If you have a suggestion, please leave me a comment!
I did find one electronic reading toy that is a lot of fun - a label maker! Since Sam is more advanced at spelling than at reading, but still can't write letters with a pen very well, this was super-exciting for her! And how fun is it to write words and print them on tiny little stickers! I'm surprised that I've never read about this one anywhere else. Check out the things she wrote with it, with just a tiny bit of help from me:
"MOW" is supposed to be "meow" but our cat actually does say, "mow" so I didn't correct her. And "DOESNG" actually stared out as "dog" but I walked away and instead of hitting the "print" button, she played around with the keyboard some more. As it turns out, she thinks the word "doesng" is just about the most hilarious thing in the world. I think she was quite pleased with herself for making up such a lovely little nonsense word.
The Book Arts Bash is a writing contest for homeschooled kids which I found out about from Sherene Silverberg. My family has no use for this now, with Sammy still spelling her name, T-O-O-S, but these are the kinds of things that can use all the support we can give them. Go, homeschooled kids!
Here are the winners of this year's contest:
Kindergarten and First Grade:
Winner: A Big Problem by Brianna T. Runners up: Adventures of Big D and BMC by Emma W. Zoo With A Strange Zookeeper by Vivian L.
Second and Third Grade:
Winner: The Adventures of Blue Flame the Heroic Giant Squid-Fighting Hero by Sage M. Runners Up: Ruby, A Twisting Tale by Emilie M. Mittens the Cat by Melea von T.
Fourth and Fifth Grade:
Winner: 1 by Nicci M. Runners up: One Girl Revolution by Sadie Z. Blaze by Alexandra S.
Sixth Grade:
Winner: The Princess by Lena G. Runners up: Becoming Callie by Lena G. Trixie by Lydia A.
Seventh Grade:
Winner: Happy Ending is a Place by Mandy H. Runners up: Violet Fire by Bryn B. Kite by Hannah S.
Eighth Grade:
Winner: Hollin by Garrett R. Runners up: Common Animals by Thomas B. Little Angel by Adayla S.
Ninth Grade:
Winner: Why I Missed the Second Set by Rose C. Runners up: Untitled by Larissa S. Tales of the Humbats: The Seventh Piece by Raven M.
Tenth Grade:
Winner: Children of the Stars by Holden M. Runners up: Shattering Darkness by Vienna H. The Scouser Cap by Emily V.
Eleventh Grade:
Winner: Cadence by Scout G. Runners up: Vengeance: 25 cents by Kathleen M. Don't Look Down by Tanya S
Twelfth Grade:
Winner: If Pearls Could Sing by Pamela C. Runners up: Broken Things by Emily D. Falling Night by Anna W.
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Another reason to homeschool is revealed in this conversation between mother and daughter:
"How many movies do you watch a week?"
She thought a bit, counting up on her fingers and trying to remember. "Oh--I don't know--five or six, maybe more. We watch t.v. pretty much every day in at least one class and any time we have a sub they put in movies or something. We watch stuff like Mythbusters a lot and call it chemistry."
She paused a moment then said, "At least it's not like my history teacher who flirts with girls in the class then shows us pictures of himself without his shirt on and talks about his tattoos."
Rational Jenn wrote today about one way children learn to evade: their parents implicitly teach it to them by Parenting by Authority. To Parent by Authority is to expect obedience from your children. “Because I said so,” is the leitmotif of this parenting style. Sure, we may all do this on occasion. Each time we do it, it is a mistake, but the real harm comes when a child is implicitly told over and over again that what he perceives, thinks, feels, and judges, is irrelevant – that what matters is what the authority figure demands.
I’ve been thinking about the same issue, but in regard to education. Since Sammy started Montessori, I’ve been reacquainting myself with all the good reasons I had for choosing this type of school for her. One of those reasons is that Montessori is the only widely available educational system that does not Educate by Authority.
Everything about standard schools is geared towards obedience. Teachers decide what the students will learn, when and by what method. Grades are the major form of feedback, but they do not measure everything the student has learned, only what the teacher has decided is important. There is no freedom for the student to pursue a special interest deeply. Busywork replaces the quest for real understanding. One of the worst features of standard school is the system of grading on a curve, which pits students against each other in unhealthy competition, where one gains at the expense of another, and actual achievement in relation to reality is irrelevant.
Everything about Montessori is geared toward independence. Students interact primarily with their environment, not with the teacher. The students enter a prepared environment of materials that are appropriate for their age. They are free to choose whatever “work” interests them at the moment, focusing on it for as long as it interests them. The teachers are guides, serving only to demonstrate the use of the materials when necessary, or to gently point a floundering child in the direction of purposeful activity. For preschoolers, almost all work is hands-on. At this age, the students do not have the capacity to connect abstract lecture to concrete reality, at least not when learning something brand new. They need to learn with the hand as well as with the mind.
The Montessori method recognizes that external reward systems such as grades are not necessary, and even harmful. Children naturally want to learn. Anyone who has observed small children can see this. The reward for good work is in the work itself, and in the accomplishment. Montessori materials are self-correcting – the children know whether they have done the work correctly without relying on a teacher’s stamp of approval. The blocks of diminishing size must be stacked up from biggest to smallest or the tower will not stand. The cylinders of diminishing size must be placed in the proper holes, or they will not all fit in the puzzle.
Discipline in a Montessori school is almost a non-issue. There is no need for children to sit quietly and listen to a teacher. They are free to roam about the classroom and to interact with each other as they see fit. Because the work holds their interest, they are generally focused on a task, and not seeking attention or looking for an outlet for their energies. The rules that are in place are natural, for the purpose of working in a group setting: children must never interrupt others’ work, must put their materials away when finished, and generally follow the rules of social decorum that adults do. But within those limits, they have a great deal of freedom.
One important freedom Montessori children have is the freedom to make mistakes. Instead of a big red "X" on their paper, children who make mistakes get feedback from reality: from the materials they are using. If a child tries to stack the blocks and fails, he is not judged by any other person. The tower just falls. That is enough. His own, internal motivation is what will drive him to try again, and his primary guide is his own mind. He must make the connection that the smaller blocks go on top before he can build the tower. He may observe the other students and possibly the teacher building the tower, but nobody is telling him what to do. He is free to try again immediately or to wait. There is no external pressure motivating him.
This trust in children’s innate (or, I would prefer to say, natural) desire to learn, to achieve, and to grow – in short, to be good – is analogous to the Positive Discipline principle of Assuming Positive Intent. You should assume, barring any evidence to the contrary, that your child is trying to solve a problem but just doesn’t have the skills yet, or has forgotten how. For example, if your toddler is banging his fork on the table, he’s probably not trying to irritate you. He might be hungry and not know how else to tell you, or he might be exploring the sound or the feel of the vibration of the fork. Your job is not to discipline him, but to try to read his signals with the assumption of positive intent, and to guide him towards the actions that will accomplish what he wants. A teacher’s job should not be to force learning upon the child. The child already wants to learn. What he needs is freedom within limits, and guidance.
Why are Parenting by Authority and Educating by Authority so prevalent? What in the world makes anybody think that children need to be disciplined and forced to learn? There is so much evidence against this, that I can only guess that a deeply rooted premise is at work, and I suspect that it is the idea of Original Sin. I’d like to explore this idea more. I think it has enormous implications for parenting and education. I know that I have unconsciously accepted this premise. I fight it consciously, but it will take a lot more work to fully root it out. But I already see myself thinking about ways I might homeschool differently that I envision it now. Instead of telling Sammy what subject we will study for a semester, I may purchase all the materials I think are appropriate and set them up in a way that she can begin to explore them on her own, and see where it leads. I might break up the day into two, 3-hour study blocks, as they do in Montessori. I might let Sammy go a whole week studying only one subject, or I might require only that math be studied every day. I’m not sure yet. But I see two principles that can guide me: Let Reality be the Judge, and Trust Internal Motivation.
Yesterday, Samantha spelled the words "Sam," "cat," "Adam" and "Jinx." Adam wrote them on the ground with sidewalk chalk as they sounded them out together. She needed help isolating the sounds, but as soon as she heard the sound, she knew what letter it was. The only one she didn't get was the "i" in Jinx because she's only learned the short "i" sound so far.
We've continued to use Starfall and we also practice while driving around town or at meals. Sam knows all the standard letter sounds now, although she'll still forget "l" and "r" sometimes, mostly because she has a hard time pronouncing them. I do think that this work of isolating sounds is going to help her pronunciation, and even her vocabulary because she'll be able to distinguish words more clearly now. I didn't think she'd be able to reverse the process and name the letters based on the sound - we've never worked on that directly - but she did it with ease. She is also "reading" everything she sees - food packaging, signs on the road, stuff that comes in the mail. Usually "reading" means that she'll name some of the letters and maybe make their sounds. Sometimes it means opening a book she knows well and telling the story from memory as she turns the pages. I thought it was cute when Sam insisted that there was an "x" on my computer screen and it took me a while to figure out she meant the red "x" icon to close the window.
Next, I'm going to try reading Montessori Read and Write, by Lynn Lawrence, and next month I'll talk to Sam's Montessori teacher about where to go from here. It's amazing to see Sam learning so much so quickly, and taking such obvious pleasure in the process.
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