The Future Looks Bright

If you want something to take care of, something that is totally dependent on you, stick with animals, not human beings.  I'm talking to all of you more experienced parents who say things like: 

• Enjoy her now - pretty soon she'll be eating food and won't need you to nurse her.


• Enjoy her now - pretty soon she'll be crawling and getting into everything.


• Enjoy her now - pretty soon she'll be walking and you'll have to chase her all over the place.


• Enjoy her now - pretty soon she'll be potty trained and you'll have to convince her to use the bathroom before you go out.  It's so much easier to change a diaper.


• Enjoy her now - pretty soon she'll be pestering you with "why" a thousand times a day.


• Enjoy her now - pretty soon she'll be a teenager with a mind of her own.


• Enjoy her now - pretty soon she'll be dating.


• Enjoy her now - pretty soon she'll be off to college.

I do enjoy Sam now.  And since the day she was born I've enjoyed her more now than I did yesterday.  I am 100% confident that this will not change tomorrow.  Guiding my daughter towards independence is what I signed up for in the first place.

Free Fun

For a toddler, what's better than Disneyland, better than Sea World, better than the state fair?  It's your local home improvement warehouse!  It can be quite an adventure for a toddler.  Find a time when it is not crowded so that you feel comfortable following your child at a discreet distance.  (We're lucky - our small town store was deserted even on a Sunday morning.) 

Think of all the interesting sights, sounds, and even smells in one of these places.  There are bins of screws, chains, and tubing to explore right at a toddler's eye level.  There are aisles of lumber, lights, plants, colorful books, paint chips, and beeping motorized carts.  Plus, for a new walker, it's exciting just to have the miles of aisles to roam around in.  We took a break by riding the electric shopping cart around the store, which was quite a kick for me too.

And it's free.

The Local Zoo

I rode an elephant the other day.

We took some out of town friends to our local zoo.  It's a small zoo - the kind where they can't afford to build cages that replicate a "natural environment" so the animals are just in cages or behind fences.  If you've never been to a zoo like this, you need to try it.  You get to see the animals from much more close up.  Even if the big cats are sleeping, they won't be in a cave where you can't see them.  (Tip: If you want to see the big cats in action, call the zoo ahead of time to find out when they are fed.)

You won't miss out if you like all the classic animals - these zoos usually have most of the favorites like giraffes, monkeys, elephants, tigers, zebras, etc.  Since the place is small, you can probably see everything they have in an afternoon, and you'll actually remember most of what you saw. 

Sometimes you'll see something you've never seen before at any zoo.  Our zoo had a couple of cassowary birds.  This bird looks like a prehistoric animal, with its horned beak and strange, intelligent eyes.  I felt like I was looking at a dinosaur.

And sometimes you'll get to do something you've never done before.  Our zoo offers elephant rides and of course we had to do it!



There were quite a few pregnant sheep at our zoo and I swear, one of them was in the process of giving birth as she was walking around.  Either that or she had the worst case of hemorrhoids ever.  I wish we could have stayed to find out.  Llamas and one huge pig strolled around the zoo with us, not caged in any way except by the perimeter fence. 

 

Best of all, at zoos like this it's ok to feed the animals! 

Earth Day, My Way

Happy Exploit-the-Earth Day! 

I'm celebrating by taking note of how beautiful the earth is due to man's influence.  This video of cities from space is spectacular. 

I love art that contrasts the natural with the man-made. Next year, I'll include some great photos and paintings on that theme.  Will that teaser keep you reading for a whole year? 

 

Kids and Google

 

Did you know that dandelions are not only edible, but very nutritious?  (You get one guess as to why I Googled “eating dandelions.”)

 

Thank you, Samantha, for your curiosity about all the things I take for granted, and thank you, Google, for helping me allow her to explore her world without fear.  I’m looking forward to learning a lot from both of you in the coming years!

 

The Little Things

 

“Pick your battles.”

 

You hear this advice everywhere when you have a toddler.  It’s great advice, don’t get me wrong, but putting it into action takes some skill and practice.  Take diaper changes, for example.  They have to happen.  And at some point, most babies are going to fight them.  Initially, I made the mistake of insisting that diaper changes happen on my terms.  If I thought it was time for a new diaper, then my daughter, Samantha, needed to cooperate.  I used all kinds of games and toys to make it fun and it usually worked.  But sometimes it didn’t.  What was I going to do, strap her down? 

 

I thought about it and realized that, while the diaper change did have to happen, maybe it didn’t have to happen the instant my nose told me it did.  Maybe I needed to give a little.  If she wasn’t ready, I could deal with leaking-poop-paranoia for a while.  What I wasn’t going to compromise on, though, was getting her cooperation once we started the diaper change.  This is actually pretty easy to accomplish – I just never start a diaper change in combat mode.  If she’s fighting it, we just keep trying different things until I sense she will cooperate.

 

This morning Samantha did not want her diaper changed.  Our routine is to change the diaper before breakfast since the morning diaper is always in imminent danger of exploding.  However, sometimes she wakes up so hungry she just can’t deal with a delay, and I suspected this was one of those mornings. 

 

“Samantha: first diaper, second breakfast.”  (This works surprisingly often, but not today).

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

“How about we change your diaper on the couch?”  

Furious head shaking.  

“Would you like to play with the stickers while I change your diaper?” 

No-no-no-no-no-no. 

“Would you like a piece of cheese while I change your diaper?”

Yes-no-yes-no-no-no-no-no.  (Hmmm, we’re getting somewhere). 

“I know you’re hungry, so why don’t you try a piece of cheese?” 

And finally, I get a clear nod of the head, yes! 

 

I get the cheese and ask her to come to the changing pad which is on the living room floor. 

NO-NO-NO-NO-NO! Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!

 

She is not coming near that changing pad and that’s it.  I tell her to let me know when she is ready and I spend a few minutes ignoring her while I drink some coffee and check my e-mail. 

 

After a few more tries like this, I’m starting to get worried that she’s going to get so hungry she has a full-blown tantrum.  In desperation, I tell her, “Samantha, I’m going to give you the cheese now because I know you’re very hungry, and then we’ll change your diaper.  First cheese, second diaper.”  I give her the cheese and go back to my e-mail, feeling like a sell-out.  After a minute, I turn around and she is sitting on the changing pad, eating the cheese!  I almost burst with happiness.  This was the first time she had ever sat down on the changing pad on her own.  I hadn’t sold out – I had shown her some respect – and she had shown me some in return.  It was one of those moments you live for as a parent. 

 

I don’t tell you this story as a lesson about picking your battles, or showing your child respect.  I have something else in mind.  Parenting is a moment-to-moment job.  That doesn’t mean you give up your principles or sacrifice the future for the sake of the present.  All the little things you do each day should add up to a whole that does express your principles.  But you live in those moments.  Those moments are both the method by which you live the kind of life you choose, and the reward for doing so.  This is true in all aspects of life, but parenting really drives the lesson home.  The moment I had with my daughter this morning made me want to yell, “This is what it’s all about!” 

 

I want to feel this way about all of my moments.  I’m working on it.  Writing about The Little Things is one way I intend to keep learning.

 

 

The Sam Update - Eighteen Months Old*

I'm a few weeks late with Sam's 18 month update because we have been very busy.  You'll have to wait 4 more paragraphs too, while I tell you about all the other things going on with us.  

 

As you probably know, we are now in Lexington, Virginia, where Adam is teaching at Washington and Lee Law School.  We absolutely love it here.  Lexington is an old town at the south end of the Shenandoah Valley with beautiful buildings and a cute, touristy downtown area.  We live on a hill in farmland with a 360 degree view of the Blue Ridge and Allegheny mountains.  There are 3 horses on our property.  They hang out right near the house and we see them every day.  We'll get to ride them soon, now that spring is here.  I feel like I'm on a 5 month vacation - it's just wonderful.

 

Adam received 3 job offers and since we just can't get seem to get enough of moving around, we chose the one we didn't visit:  George Mason University!  But seriously, GMU is the perfect law school for Adam.  I believe that working there is going to set his career on fire and allow him to have a great impact on the law.  Of course we feel quite a bit of sadness leaving Michigan and MSU.  We both loved MSU, Adam as law prof. and I as student.  We will miss our friends there and the absolutely gorgeous spring, summer, and fall (all 6 months of it).  ;)

 

GMU is located in Arlington, VA, so we'll be living just outside of Washington DC.   We'll probably move some time in May and rent for at least a year to get the lay of the land.  I love visiting DC and we're excited about taking Sam to see the museums and monuments as she grows older.  We have a lot of friends in the area too.  I know we'll get a lot more visitors in DC than we did in Michigan.  We'll make sure we have a guest room!  I think there is a very good chance we'll stay in DC for a really long time. 

 

We just got back from a trip to Florida.  My parents are working at Disneyworld for the winter and we spent a few days there with them.  After Disney, we visited Adam's parents in St. Petersburg.  Sam was sick so the whole trip was very difficult, but it was nice to see family.

 

So what is Sam up to lately?  She is finally walking!  I guess she was waiting until she could do it well before taking the leap because she hardly falls at all.  Right away, she could maneuver around objects, stand still, carry objects, and look all around her without losing her balance.  Now she wants to walk everywhere, so I'm entering a new phase with her.  Luckily, spring is here and we'll be able to go on many long walks and spend time at the playgrounds.  She also loves to chase us around the house.  We play hide and seek too.  It's a lot of fun and it wears her out, which is good!

 

She says a word here and there, but doesn't seem interested in using them regularly.  She continues to learn new signs, though, and we communicate very well.  A big change is that, along with shaking her head "no," she can now nod "yes."  This is a huge leap and makes it so much easier to communicate.

 

Sam is very interested in the letters of the alphabet.  We got her a toy that "speaks" the sounds of the letters and she's been working on them.  She can identify many letters in her books when asked.  We have no intention of pushing her to read early or anything like that - this is coming purely from her own interest.  But that's no big surprise considering how much Adam and I love to read, and how often we read to Sam.

 

She can also identify many common objects in her books.  I like to ask her "where is the flower" (or whatever object I see) on a page of a book of which I've never pointed out the flower.  She can find these things most of the time if she's been shown the object in other forms.  I love to see that conceptual faculty developing!

 

One of the sweetest things is that she now gives us real hugs and kisses.  She is so cuddly now!  When she was an infant, she preferred not to be held.  Now she sometimes just wants to sit close with us, and she'll even walk across the room just to get a hug.  She likes to kiss her stuffed animals too, which is too cute for words.

 

So, we're doing pretty well overall.  All of this moving around has been very stressful and we're really excited to move on to the next phase of our lives.  I'll send you all our new address as soon as we have one.  Wish us luck and keep in touch!

 

*Disclaimer:  The Sam Update began as a series of e-mails sent to family and friends starting when Sam was less than a month old.  To keep the chronology I've faked the dates here on the blog to reflect when the updates were actually written.  They were really added to the blog in May 2008, with just a bit of editing.  All subsequent entries will be posted directly to the blog.