Wednesday, January 11, 2012
A Little Thing
Our regular babysitter is on vacation so I've hired a temp for this week. Zoe won't eat well with her. Which means that Zoe noticed the difference. Zoe knows and cares that there are different people in her world!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
A Little Thing
Every once in a while, either Leo or Zoe will get very cranky and I'll have to soothe him or her. Not often, but it happens. I think they do it just for differentiation so that I'll appreciate their normal state of pure contentment.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The Twins Update - Four Months Old
Adam and I have done a great job not calling Leo and Zoe, "the twins" very often. They are individuals and deserve to be treated separately. But sometimes it just makes sense to refer to them together. When I wrote my first monthly update, I deliberately decided to do one update for both of them because otherwise I knew it would be too overwhelming and I'd drop it. They sleep in the same room, so are we seriously going to call it "Zoe and Leo's room?" We feed them at the same time so are we seriously going to say, "Time to feed Leo and Zoe?" No. There is something to be said for efficiency in these matters. But because we had it in our heads not to call them "the twins," in these moments we subconsciously searched for a nickname, and somehow they became "the Beasties."
Wow - look how much more mature they are at four months! The way they are holding hands is typical. They grab at each other all the time, and if they're hungry, they'll suck on each other. I've caught Leo sucking on Zoe's head a couple of times. She might be our Cylon baby, but he's our zombie baby.
The biggest event in the Beasties' life during their fourth month was their transition to their own cribs. (See, we're promoting their independence!) There was really no reason we couldn't have just started out with two cribs, but we were considering going to a floor bed after a few months so we just bought one crib to get started. That turned out to be a wonderful decision because it was so sweet to have them together in the same bed. But early in December, they got too big to lie them down crosswise, and they were starting to poke each other and scoot around too much. So now we have two cribs in their tiny bedroom. Adam managed to set it up so that they can see each other, we can reach everything we need, and the video monitor can cover them both. It was one of his best packing jobs, ever!
Speaking of cribs, both Leo and Zoe are still sleeping well. Sometimes we have to wake up and feed both of them in the middle of the night, and sometimes it's just one of them. Once, both of them slept right through. We aren't pushing them on this issue because they seem to be on board with the project, only having setbacks when they are ill or otherwise discombobulated. They remain on a three hour schedule during the day - Eat, Activity, Sleep, Repeat five times each day. I've given up worrying about when they will transition to naps. They seem content this way, and it works for me, too.
Sleeping is their number one job. Eating is number two. They've had some issues with eating this month. Both of them are more distractable now. Leo is tuned in to sounds and Zoe is tuned into visuals, but either way, it takes them away from the bottle. Zoe still breastfeeds well and Leo is still lazy, but we've kept at it, and I mostly enjoy it. They both went through a brief biting phase but that seems to be over, thank god! The best part is that they are big enough now that I can nurse them lying down. That's a little bit of heaven, right there.
Their third and final job is play. They've been spending the majority of their awake time on their Gymini activity mat.
They lie on their backs and bat at the hanging toys or talk to each other or look in the mirror. But they are getting too big to share the Gymini, and I don't think it's worth buying a second one since they'll be beyond it soon, developmentally. They've also been spending time in their bouncy seats (which they hated up until recently), their Bumbos (but only for a minute at a time), and on their tummies in the Boppies. They hate tummy time on the floor, but they seem to like the Boppies, which is nice because they both look especially gorgeous in that position.
I still don't take them out much. The weather has been mild enough to go for walks, but it's just too much trouble. But when we do take them out, they've been really easy to deal with. When we took the whole family to the mall to see Santa, Adam got his first real taste of what it's like to be out in public with twins. People want to find out all about them and fuss over them. So far, we both enjoy the experience, but I'm sure it will get old.
Individually, Leo continues to be a bit more advanced than Zoe, but not by much. He is only about a half-pound bigger than she is, and because she's a girl she is actually in a higher percentile on the growth chart. Leo grasps objects very well now. He can hold a rattle and shake it a little bit before he drops it, but he can't yet pick something up off the floor. Both Leo and Zoe grab their hanging toys, and of course, try to put them in their mouths. Sometimes they succeed. Leo also is working on holding his own bottle, but that just means that he knocks it out of his mouth - but I swear, he wants to hold that thing. Both of them are putting weight on their feet, which is so cool. Leo is amazingly strong and seems to love standing up. That boy worries me, sometimes. I had a dream that he started walking at four months and he ran into the bathroom and slammed the door and wouldn't let me in.
For a while, Zoe was the more verbal of the two, but Leo has caught up with her. They both make many consonant-vowel sound combinations like GA, BE, WA, and UNG. And everyone but me thinks that they are both laughing. I call it proto-laughter - a kind of repetitive grunting along with a smile. But they did it for a while and now don't do it as much. I think real laughter is yet to come. I've always been amazed that laughter happens so early in human development. I wish I understood why.
We've noticed that Leo gets startled more easily than Zoe. If you come at him too fast or make a sudden noise, his arms and legs stick straight out and his eyes get wide and scared, but it's never enough to make him cry. Zoe continues to be unflappable. But when something is really wrong, boy oh boy, you'll know it.
While Leo works on physical skills, Zoe is still busy observing. She studies everything in her visual field with such focus. She likes all computer screens, and a row of brightly colored objects can hold her attention for many minutes. Her favorite thing is a face, so when she meets new people she really looks at them and I think, along with her amazing smile and big, expressive eyes, this instantly wins people over. I swear, that girl is sweetness, personified. Unfortunately, her fascination with the camera means that I rarely get photos of her smiling and Leo seems like the bubbly one. They are both actually very happy, easy babies. When we come into their visual field, there is a brief delay while they try to figure out who it is, and as soon as they recognize us (Sam, Adam, our babysitter, or me), they break out into huge grins and wiggle around and kick their legs. It doesn't get any better than that.
Wow - look how much more mature they are at four months! The way they are holding hands is typical. They grab at each other all the time, and if they're hungry, they'll suck on each other. I've caught Leo sucking on Zoe's head a couple of times. She might be our Cylon baby, but he's our zombie baby.
The biggest event in the Beasties' life during their fourth month was their transition to their own cribs. (See, we're promoting their independence!) There was really no reason we couldn't have just started out with two cribs, but we were considering going to a floor bed after a few months so we just bought one crib to get started. That turned out to be a wonderful decision because it was so sweet to have them together in the same bed. But early in December, they got too big to lie them down crosswise, and they were starting to poke each other and scoot around too much. So now we have two cribs in their tiny bedroom. Adam managed to set it up so that they can see each other, we can reach everything we need, and the video monitor can cover them both. It was one of his best packing jobs, ever!
Speaking of cribs, both Leo and Zoe are still sleeping well. Sometimes we have to wake up and feed both of them in the middle of the night, and sometimes it's just one of them. Once, both of them slept right through. We aren't pushing them on this issue because they seem to be on board with the project, only having setbacks when they are ill or otherwise discombobulated. They remain on a three hour schedule during the day - Eat, Activity, Sleep, Repeat five times each day. I've given up worrying about when they will transition to naps. They seem content this way, and it works for me, too.
Sleeping is their number one job. Eating is number two. They've had some issues with eating this month. Both of them are more distractable now. Leo is tuned in to sounds and Zoe is tuned into visuals, but either way, it takes them away from the bottle. Zoe still breastfeeds well and Leo is still lazy, but we've kept at it, and I mostly enjoy it. They both went through a brief biting phase but that seems to be over, thank god! The best part is that they are big enough now that I can nurse them lying down. That's a little bit of heaven, right there.
Their third and final job is play. They've been spending the majority of their awake time on their Gymini activity mat.
They lie on their backs and bat at the hanging toys or talk to each other or look in the mirror. But they are getting too big to share the Gymini, and I don't think it's worth buying a second one since they'll be beyond it soon, developmentally. They've also been spending time in their bouncy seats (which they hated up until recently), their Bumbos (but only for a minute at a time), and on their tummies in the Boppies. They hate tummy time on the floor, but they seem to like the Boppies, which is nice because they both look especially gorgeous in that position.
I still don't take them out much. The weather has been mild enough to go for walks, but it's just too much trouble. But when we do take them out, they've been really easy to deal with. When we took the whole family to the mall to see Santa, Adam got his first real taste of what it's like to be out in public with twins. People want to find out all about them and fuss over them. So far, we both enjoy the experience, but I'm sure it will get old.
Individually, Leo continues to be a bit more advanced than Zoe, but not by much. He is only about a half-pound bigger than she is, and because she's a girl she is actually in a higher percentile on the growth chart. Leo grasps objects very well now. He can hold a rattle and shake it a little bit before he drops it, but he can't yet pick something up off the floor. Both Leo and Zoe grab their hanging toys, and of course, try to put them in their mouths. Sometimes they succeed. Leo also is working on holding his own bottle, but that just means that he knocks it out of his mouth - but I swear, he wants to hold that thing. Both of them are putting weight on their feet, which is so cool. Leo is amazingly strong and seems to love standing up. That boy worries me, sometimes. I had a dream that he started walking at four months and he ran into the bathroom and slammed the door and wouldn't let me in.
For a while, Zoe was the more verbal of the two, but Leo has caught up with her. They both make many consonant-vowel sound combinations like GA, BE, WA, and UNG. And everyone but me thinks that they are both laughing. I call it proto-laughter - a kind of repetitive grunting along with a smile. But they did it for a while and now don't do it as much. I think real laughter is yet to come. I've always been amazed that laughter happens so early in human development. I wish I understood why.
We've noticed that Leo gets startled more easily than Zoe. If you come at him too fast or make a sudden noise, his arms and legs stick straight out and his eyes get wide and scared, but it's never enough to make him cry. Zoe continues to be unflappable. But when something is really wrong, boy oh boy, you'll know it.
While Leo works on physical skills, Zoe is still busy observing. She studies everything in her visual field with such focus. She likes all computer screens, and a row of brightly colored objects can hold her attention for many minutes. Her favorite thing is a face, so when she meets new people she really looks at them and I think, along with her amazing smile and big, expressive eyes, this instantly wins people over. I swear, that girl is sweetness, personified. Unfortunately, her fascination with the camera means that I rarely get photos of her smiling and Leo seems like the bubbly one. They are both actually very happy, easy babies. When we come into their visual field, there is a brief delay while they try to figure out who it is, and as soon as they recognize us (Sam, Adam, our babysitter, or me), they break out into huge grins and wiggle around and kick their legs. It doesn't get any better than that.
Monday, January 2, 2012
The Amy Update - 19 Weeks In
Yes, yes, I am in the process of writing Leo and Zoe's 4 month update (two weeks late already!) and I know that is what you are really interested in, but in keeping with my selfish parenting principles, I thought I'd write about me first.
As you can probably tell by the long pause in blogging, December was a difficult month. Zoe and Leo are doing well, but we had a lot of hiccups. Under normal circumstances, I manage to keep things under control - barely. But if one little thing goes wrong, it gets hard. In December, we had a few little illnesses (just sniffles), I hurt my back, Sam was on holiday from school, my babysitter got sick, there was Christmas itself, and my babysitter spent m0re time with her family. That was enough to put blogging (and a lot of other things) on the back burner. Adam was home a bit more than usual, but he did most of the work for Christmas - setting up the decorations, wrapping presents, etc., so that was a wash in terms of taking care of babies. The back injury required muscle relaxers which meant that I couldn't breastfeed, which meant that I had to pump to keep up my milk supply. That was a horrible week. Anyway, when you're living on the edge like this and something goes wrong, it's like cascade failure. One problem causes another, and another, and another, and that went on pretty much the whole month.
The other thing that happened in December was the onset of mild postpartum depression. Just like with Sam, I was fine for months before I noticed a problem. I'm not even sure if what I'm going through would be called PPD or just "baby blues." I just tend to find the negative in everything, and as soon as I finish the day's work, all I want to do is crawl into bed and watch Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab. Even if I had had more time, I didn't want to blog because I had nothing good to say. I feel good today, so I'm hoping to get two posts done, but I make no promises. I might just crawl back into that hole in a few hours.
Along with the depression came the lovely part of postpartum life when all your hair falls out. Clumps of my hair are everywhere. My psoriasis is worse than it's ever been, and my mystery pain is coming back. And in December, I didn't lose any weight. My scale tells me that I gained a tenth of a pound. Maybe I don't have PPD after all - who wouldn't be down with all of that going on?
In fact, maybe I'm depressed because I haven't been blogging. Or maybe it is just the shortened days of winter. Who knows - causality is beyond me right now - I'm just getting through each day.
It probably sounds worse than it is. I've done some thinking on paper and have plans to address the things that are under my control. I plan to keep using my babysitter this semester and not to skimp on that help. That's the thing that keeps me most sane, and allows me to spend time with Sam. Sam going back to school will help too. I have doctor's appointments lined up to deal with my health issues. The return of the pain scares the crap out of me, but I need to remember that, even if I don't know why I have the pain, I do have a way to make it better: the PRP therapy I had a few years ago. I'll do that before I let it get so bad that I'm crawling up and down the stairs. I'm letting go of the weight loss goal for now. I don't think I have much control of it while breastfeeding, so I'll just try to maintain, and address it again when my hormones settle down. But so that I don't cry every time I have to get dressed to go outside the house, I'm buying some fat clothes. I hate to do it, but it's better than the alternative. With Sam, I refused to buy any new cl0thes because I would not accept my new weight, and I've spent the past 5 years wearing whatever I could pick up at Target while shopping for soap and towels and boxed wine. There are other actions I plan to take, too, like setting up regular date nights with Adam and things like that.
But with all the talk of New Year's resolutions, I feel even more pathetic. I hear people planning to get in shape, travel, start a new career, or other such ambitious notions. My resolutions are to keep showering every day and to eat more sushi. My plans are so small. Really? Going out for dinner with my husband twice a month is an action-item? Yes, it is, and it is difficult to achieve. I don't know why I find it so hard to accept that taking care of Leo and Zoe has to trump so many other things, but I do. I did this dropping context thing with Sam too, and I thought I learned my lesson: that it is all just temporary. But even though I know that, it bugs me. I want to be doing those ambitious things, too.
And that brings me to my final note. I do have one project that is ambitious. In fact, in my context, it is a BHAG (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal). It is time to begin the real preparation for homeschooling. Sam graduates from Montessori in June, and I plan to start working with her in August. I figure if I start now, I'll be ready by then. And that is exciting. Still, instead of starting at the beginning of January like I had planned, I have to put it off for at least two weeks to catch up after crazy December.
As you can see, my emotions about these things are all over the place. I feel like I'm doing nothing, but I have a huge goal in front of me. I want to hole up and watch tv, but I want to be out pursuing more values. It's all part of the first year with babies, for me.
As you can probably tell by the long pause in blogging, December was a difficult month. Zoe and Leo are doing well, but we had a lot of hiccups. Under normal circumstances, I manage to keep things under control - barely. But if one little thing goes wrong, it gets hard. In December, we had a few little illnesses (just sniffles), I hurt my back, Sam was on holiday from school, my babysitter got sick, there was Christmas itself, and my babysitter spent m0re time with her family. That was enough to put blogging (and a lot of other things) on the back burner. Adam was home a bit more than usual, but he did most of the work for Christmas - setting up the decorations, wrapping presents, etc., so that was a wash in terms of taking care of babies. The back injury required muscle relaxers which meant that I couldn't breastfeed, which meant that I had to pump to keep up my milk supply. That was a horrible week. Anyway, when you're living on the edge like this and something goes wrong, it's like cascade failure. One problem causes another, and another, and another, and that went on pretty much the whole month.
The other thing that happened in December was the onset of mild postpartum depression. Just like with Sam, I was fine for months before I noticed a problem. I'm not even sure if what I'm going through would be called PPD or just "baby blues." I just tend to find the negative in everything, and as soon as I finish the day's work, all I want to do is crawl into bed and watch Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab. Even if I had had more time, I didn't want to blog because I had nothing good to say. I feel good today, so I'm hoping to get two posts done, but I make no promises. I might just crawl back into that hole in a few hours.
Along with the depression came the lovely part of postpartum life when all your hair falls out. Clumps of my hair are everywhere. My psoriasis is worse than it's ever been, and my mystery pain is coming back. And in December, I didn't lose any weight. My scale tells me that I gained a tenth of a pound. Maybe I don't have PPD after all - who wouldn't be down with all of that going on?
In fact, maybe I'm depressed because I haven't been blogging. Or maybe it is just the shortened days of winter. Who knows - causality is beyond me right now - I'm just getting through each day.
It probably sounds worse than it is. I've done some thinking on paper and have plans to address the things that are under my control. I plan to keep using my babysitter this semester and not to skimp on that help. That's the thing that keeps me most sane, and allows me to spend time with Sam. Sam going back to school will help too. I have doctor's appointments lined up to deal with my health issues. The return of the pain scares the crap out of me, but I need to remember that, even if I don't know why I have the pain, I do have a way to make it better: the PRP therapy I had a few years ago. I'll do that before I let it get so bad that I'm crawling up and down the stairs. I'm letting go of the weight loss goal for now. I don't think I have much control of it while breastfeeding, so I'll just try to maintain, and address it again when my hormones settle down. But so that I don't cry every time I have to get dressed to go outside the house, I'm buying some fat clothes. I hate to do it, but it's better than the alternative. With Sam, I refused to buy any new cl0thes because I would not accept my new weight, and I've spent the past 5 years wearing whatever I could pick up at Target while shopping for soap and towels and boxed wine. There are other actions I plan to take, too, like setting up regular date nights with Adam and things like that.
But with all the talk of New Year's resolutions, I feel even more pathetic. I hear people planning to get in shape, travel, start a new career, or other such ambitious notions. My resolutions are to keep showering every day and to eat more sushi. My plans are so small. Really? Going out for dinner with my husband twice a month is an action-item? Yes, it is, and it is difficult to achieve. I don't know why I find it so hard to accept that taking care of Leo and Zoe has to trump so many other things, but I do. I did this dropping context thing with Sam too, and I thought I learned my lesson: that it is all just temporary. But even though I know that, it bugs me. I want to be doing those ambitious things, too.
And that brings me to my final note. I do have one project that is ambitious. In fact, in my context, it is a BHAG (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal). It is time to begin the real preparation for homeschooling. Sam graduates from Montessori in June, and I plan to start working with her in August. I figure if I start now, I'll be ready by then. And that is exciting. Still, instead of starting at the beginning of January like I had planned, I have to put it off for at least two weeks to catch up after crazy December.
As you can see, my emotions about these things are all over the place. I feel like I'm doing nothing, but I have a huge goal in front of me. I want to hole up and watch tv, but I want to be out pursuing more values. It's all part of the first year with babies, for me.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
A Little Thing
One of Sam's favorite phrases used to be, "I can't do it - it's hard." Now one of her favorite phrases is, "I can do it - it's easy!"
Sunday, December 4, 2011
A Little Thing
It was bedtime and Sammy and I were making up songs. Silly rhymes with funny tunes - anything to get a laugh. I was being very creative but Sammy just kept making up songs about pee and poo and it was getting old. "Can't you make up a song about something other than pee and poo?" I asked.
"Hmmm, how about a song about Jinxy?" she asked.
I was thrilled. She hadn't talked about Jinx much since we put him to sleep a few weeks ago, and I thought her feelings might come out in her song. I'm paraphrasing, but it went something like this:
Now who is the creative one?
"Hmmm, how about a song about Jinxy?" she asked.
I was thrilled. She hadn't talked about Jinx much since we put him to sleep a few weeks ago, and I thought her feelings might come out in her song. I'm paraphrasing, but it went something like this:
Oh, I had a cat and his name was Jinx.
And he was cute and beautiful.
And he got a shot and it made him sleepy.
And then he got another and it made him dead.
We had to put Jinx to sleep because...
He peed and pooed in the house!
Now who is the creative one?
Thursday, December 1, 2011
A Little Thing
Sam injured her toenail and the whole thing was peeling away, so Adam had to cut it off. Sam sat patiently through the whole procedure, and when Adam gave her the toenail to look at, she asked if she could put it under her pillow for the toenail fairy.
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