Yesterday, her actual birthday, the weather was absolutely gorgeous, just like the day she was born, so I took her to the water park. This was the third time we had gone this summer, and she finally worked up the courage to go down one of the water slides. Of course, once she did it, she was an instant expert and had no fear. She climbed up it, fell on her face and laughed about it, and probably slid down at least 50 times. This is so typically Samantha. I don’t think it’s a particularly good character trait, but it’s her, and even as I try to encourage her to take more risks, I respect and enjoy who she is.
We have finally entered the “why” phase. I’ve been looking forward to this since before Sam was born! I know parents complain about all the “whys” and maybe someday I’ll understand, but for now, I love it. One question I seem to get over and over is WHY YOU NOT LIKE FRUIT CUPS, MOMMY? I think I’ve explained to her that I do indeed like fruit cups about 30 times in the past week. There is also the constant WHAT YOU DOING, MOMMY? WHY YOU DOING THAT, MOMMY? WHY YOU DRIVING, MOMMY? WHY YOU WALKING DOWN STAIRS, MOMMY? WHY TAKING SHOWER, MOMMY? But my favorite so far was after I had sung “The Farmer in the Dell,” and there was a long pause and then, WHY DA CHEESE STAND ALONE, MOMMY? WHY CHEESE STAND ALONE?
Another change is that Sam doesn’t seem to play with her toys as much anymore. I’m not sure if she needs new toys or if she just needs to be doing something more structured. She might still play with her dolls or little figurines, making up a whole scenario and playing it out, but most of the other toys hold little interest. I’ve had less time to do my own work because she has needed me to be doing something with her more often. I’m just trying to hang on until she starts Montessori in a couple of weeks. Then I’ll assess what’s going on.
She has also come through the other side of the latest difficult period. I re-read my post from last winter about how I refocused on natural consequences instead of time-outs and was surprised to recall how difficult that period had been. Giving up the time-outs has been a great success. We still have tantrums, whining, screaming and crying, but we have much less conflict and bad feelings between us, and even though the hitting has come back here and there, it’s mostly gone. I also have much less internal conflict and generally feel good about how I’m doing as a parent. I still don’t think I’m a true believer in Positive Discipline – but part of that is that I don’t think PD is an integrated system, but just an amalgam of ideas. There are so many good ideas in that collection, though!
She's really growing up. I try to notice it every day. It used to be a daily occurrence that Adam and I would look at her in wonder and say, “We made her.” I’ve noticed that we hardly ever say that any more. She has started to make herself.
What a true and beautiful ending sentiment.
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