Be sure to read Day 1 and Day 2 if you haven't already.
Day 3 was, shockingly, even more difficult than either of the previous days. I guess Sam's goal today was to hold her poo instead of her pee like she did yesterday. She made little nuggets all day long. I mean, she probably went poo 15-20 times, and each time it caused her horrible pain. I mean, screaming in agony, begging me not to touch it kind of pain. She has awful diaper rash, which makes no sense to me, but every time she let out a little bit, it stung, and then I had to wipe her. So 15 times today, I had to hold my daughter down on the ground and pry her legs open and cause her great pain.
It was just awful. I'm a total wreck.
Because she was holding it in, she really didn't make it to the potty much. She'd be doing something, then scream in pain because a little thing came out, and then she'd sit on the potty but she would not let anything more come out. In the morning, however, before it got too bad, she did go pee and poo once each, so I guess that's something. And two other times she made more substantial poops, plus, of course, the stuff that was in her overnight diaper and her nap diaper. I've never dealt with so much poo in one day, not even when she was an infant. We must have made up 3 new poo songs today.
This evening, we took her out for ice cream after dinner but it wasn't a really good test of the potty training because she ate her ice cream and then a bit of poo came out and she screamed in agony again. She sat on the portable potty in the back of the SUV, which was a first. She really didn't seem to have a problem with the potty so much as she just did not want to poo. I wish I knew if this was caused by the potty training somehow, or if it's just a terrible coincidence, but it's very disheartening and it made me want to quit, even after all the progress of the last two days. But I didn't.
She's supposed to go to day care tomorrow, but I can't send her in this condition. I'm hoping the diaper rash (or whatever it is) clears up tomorrow so I can send her on Wednesday. She'll have to wear clothes and be around all the other kids, and she'll have to ask the teacher to go to the potty. I think she can do it. She might have an accident, but I'm pretty sure she has the idea and just needs to keep practicing.
Overall, I like this potty training method. I wish I had tried it a year ago when she first showed signs of being ready, but I just didn't think I had to really do anything. For some reason, I thought it would just happen, just like all the other things she learned to do like walking and talking. That might be true for some children, but probably not many. But I guess, in a way, we didn't really do much with this method either. We showed her how to use the potty a long time ago, and now, all we did was take away the diapers and clothes and let her figure out how to deal with it. We gave her a few stickers for fun, but she didn't really care about that. More rewards would have been meaningless. We did a pee-pee dance, but she didn't really need that either. She knew what to do and she did it. We just had to remove her crutch and stick with it.
The worst thing about this method is that it is so boring. You really need two people to trade off watching the child, especially on the first day, when there is a lot of dribbling. But you can't really do anything else - you're just sitting there watching. It's mind numbing. The messes are no fun, but I much prefer to have a lot of them in a short period of time than to have them occur unexpectedly for a long time. We kept the cleaning products out and set our expectations, so that was not a big deal.
I think the only major hurdle left is testing whether Sam can wear clothes and remember to use the potty, or if she'll forget she's not wearing a diaper. Oh, then later, of course, there is the nighttime issue, but I won't expect that to happen for a long, long time.
I'll write an update on our progress in a week or so, but this concludes the formal discussion of poo for a while, ok?
I am so sorry to hear that Sam was having such a tough time. I know you didn't ask, but I would love to a tidbit of info that has helped us deal with diaper rash at least.
ReplyDeleteOur toddler is prone to very serious, painful rashes (with open sores and such). When he's having a bad day, instead of wiping him, we use the removable shower to spray or sink spray to clean his bottom with water (like a baby bidet) and then we'll fill the tub/sink with water and add baking soda or oatmeal and let him play for a little. This is fairly time consuming and can be quite annoying, and yet we've found it helps with the rash when we do it with every poopy diaper.
I don't know if you've ever heard, but our pediatrician once recommended apple cider for helping our kids when they're constipated.
Best of luck for tomorrow!
Amy,
ReplyDeleteDon't give up! It does take a lot more than 3 days - and poo may take much longer! Our daughter (then 2 years old) had the same issue with holding pee and poo initially - it took her a while to get over the pee, then we had a week or so of frequent 'big' accidents (pee on floor), and then she mostly had a little drop in her underwear, stop it and asked to go potty. We did need about 4 months of asking her to go before she was able to tell us proactively that she needed to go.
Poo was much more difficult - she held it until she had a diaper (nap time/bed time) for several months - and threw major fits when we discovered her in the act and took her to the potty. We finally told her she had to stop going poo in a diaper so she could go to school - and she decided that when we were visiting her grandma this summer, she'd go poo on the toilet there. She did, and has been good about it, giving us plenty of warning when she's in underwear. (Still poos in her diaper occasionally at nap time.)
Stick with it - it is hard work but so worth it to have a kid who can be really independent and proud of it (especially when #2 comes around...)
I did read somewhere that there is an issue if they hold poo too long (intestine widening, and poo coming around a block that is building up, which is then out of the child's control) so I would talk to the pediatrician if this continues for more than a few days.
Kim - Ug, sorry your little guy has the same problem. That's good advice. Sam had the same issues with open sores and we didn't figure out for about 10 months that zinc based ointments just made it worse. We used to rinse all the soap out of baby wipes so they were just wet cloths, or we'd use wet paper towels (Viva is very soft). Yesterday we did the shower twice and it helped a lot. The rash is much better today (whew!) but I'm not going to use wipes at all today if I can manage it. If we have another with sensitive skin like Sam's, I'll definitely use water more often. Ouch! It so hard to see your little one in such pain.
ReplyDeleteHeike - luckily, Sam has much less issue with poo than with pee. I'm just worried that she became afraid of pooping on the potty yesterday with all the pain. Also, I'm not concerned if she holds everything for sleep diapers. If she can hold it and is satisfied, then it's fine with me, for the time being. I'm sure she'll have some big accidents if she keeps doing it that way, but that's fine with me too, because I know that that's how she'll learn that it's better to just go and get it over with.
But as of now, I do consider her potty trained. I just have my expectations set for plenty of accidents. I'm sure you're right, that this will go on for months. It sounds like you're happier with where K. is at now. Great!
How did you deal with dribble of pee on the carpet? Did you just try to keep her on hardwood/tile? Also, I find it boring to only be indoors with him, so I have to figure out what kind of activities would be good to do. Also, your comment about how everything else Sam's learned came easily and naturally, so you figured potty training would be the same - this rang very true with me. I think the diaper is not only his crutch but mine! We might take next weekend to try as this weekend we have guests over.
ReplyDeleteHeike - good to see you here. Sounds like Karina's improved a lot in the short time we saw each other. Guess the trip did her good!
Wow! What a project. It's so good that you have instantaneous advice from your friends. I wouldn't be able to help at all. You and Nick just did, like waking and talking. Maybe it was because I did not use Pamper diapers very much. I think you are right about it being about you as much as Samantha's attitude. I let Nick nurse probably much longer than I would have if the nursing brought problems. It was a habit for both of us until the enviornment in our house changed ( the sofa we sat on was moved to another room and we now had chairs, not as comfortable). Now it wasn't as easy to just plop down for a quick nip. School and visits to other people's homes might break her comfortable habit of wearing a diaper. Keep at it, your doing great
ReplyDeleteAmy, I was a wreck by day 2 when we did this same thing with Charlie. I was in tears and ready to give up because I felt that I was mistaken about his being ready. I decided to give it through day 3 and I'm glad that I did. Each day saw some improvement.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like Sam is doing really well. I feel badly for her having such a painful diaper rash. Charlie has sensitive skin and would get open sore rashes as well. Now that he's potty trained, that really has gone away. The bare bottom time really helps too.
If you can, I would really recommend that you stick with wearing pants with no underwear or diapers for a while. We were so nervous about Charlie having accidents that we would put him in pull-ups for car rides or going out into the stores. It just made him have more accidents at home. He's been potty trained for a few months now and we just ask that he tries to go potty before we leave the house. He's only had one accident at a store and we made it through just fine. I regret that we didn't stick with the no training diaper policy during awake times in the beginning.
Keep up the good work! I know how overwhelming it can feel, but it is really worth it.
Yuen - I use Nature's Miracle on the carpet. I didn't try to keep her on the hard surfaces at all. That would have been even more boring. Honestly, I barely clean up at all. Sometimes I say, hmmm, the carpet felt a bit damp there...whatever. Most of the time it's a drip from a sippy cup or dog drool, so I can't really tell. We will get the carpets cleaned professionally once we feel the worst is over.
ReplyDeleteI used to be so freaked out by the idea of pee and poo getting on things, and now I just don't care. I remember when Sam was 18 months old, my mom changed her diaper and she got poop on her hand and she didn't care; she just wiped it off. I was horrified. I don't think I had ever ever ever allowed poo to get on my hands when changing a diaper. But then I thought about it and realized that it can be cleaned. From that moment on, I was much less worried about these messes. But anyway, Nature's Miracle is good because it really gets rid of smells. And now that we took away the diapers, Sam is indeed just doing it all on her own. She even pours the pee from the little potty into the toilet on her own and wipes herself pretty well.
Mom - thanks for the kind words, and for the lesson above!
PP - Yes, it was you! I'm so sorry that I forgot. We are NEVER going to put a diaper or pull up on her again except for sleeping. We're going to try loose pants or dresses for school, and definitely no underwear for a while. We went to the grocery store today and Sam had a tiny accident in the car but her dress soaked it up and then she was fine at the store and even tried the big potty in the bathroom there. Her rash is gone today. It was either the juice or the Ibuprofen, I think. She doesn't seem traumatized - she made one lovely poop in the potty today - and nothing in her nap diaper!
You can buy incontinance pads at the store--next to depends. They're padded, plastic-backed pads that are for lining beds when people have trouble controlling their bladders. They're good for sticking in the car seat to help absorb accidents. I read about someone who put rubber-backed bathroom rugs on the seats her potty-training child would sit on.
ReplyDeleteI've used Zero Odor Pet but it's inconvenient because you have to order it online.
You're my inspiration! This is definitely helping me to fortify myself for the journey I have ahead.
[...] used the naked method recommended by Principled Parentand it worked really well, but when we found out that she could not [...]
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