Self-Destructive

Sammy was angry all morning. Stomping, spitting, breaking the rules, yelling at us. At one point when things were calm, I mentioned that she needed to remove her own toys from Leo and Zoe's toy shelf. (This is something we're working on.) She told me that she wanted to put her scissors on their shelf so that they could use them when they got older. Then it got real quiet.

A few minutes later Sammy came into the living room and looked in her mirror. I asked if everything was okay. She said coyly, "You know what I'm going to say, don't you?" This means she broke the rules, or is about to ask if she can break the rules. She came over to me and was about to whisper in my ear when I said, "Oh, I see it. You cut your hair." She had cut a couple of locks from the front. I said, completely calmly, but with mild disappointment in my voice: "It looks bad. And your school pictures are coming up soon, so it will look that way for your picture. And when you put it up in a ponytail, that part won't go in the ponytail because it is too short."

She said, "Yeah. I miss my hair." I told her that it would grow back, but that it would take a long time.

Someday, that girl will learn that actions taken in anger never do her any good. I don't know how long it can take to learn that lesson, but she certainly gives herself enough opportunities to learn it. I guess it's a difficult one - plenty of adults have never learned it either.