18 Weeks

While we were in Italy, I was totally paranoid about the Things. We walked so much and I was hungry so often and I didn't get enough sleep - how could they have possibly survived all of that? I feel like I barely did.

And no matter how much I told myself that I was being irrational, the fear would not go away. I could banish it for a time, but it would always come back. I'd remind myself about pregnant women in Africa who must get little to eat, and women in the Middle Ages who probably worked themselves half to death and still had healthy babies. Then I'd feel better - until I had a gas pain or something which obviously meant that things had gone terribly wrong.

I'm exaggerating a bit. It didn't ruin my vacation or anything, but I guess just being out of my controlled environment stoked my uncertainties. I'm already feeling better now that we are home, but I won't feel fully comfortable again until my next doctor's appointment on Thursday.

I am definitely feeling movement in there now, but I can't even enjoy that. I only feel movement on one side, and it seems too high up. It also seems to happen only when I'm straining myself, which doesn't seem right. Again, I hope to feel better after Thursday.

But none of that fear stopped me from drinking cappuccino every day, and a glass of wine (or two!) every night. I mean, I can only allow my irrationality to go so far!

One thing that does give me some comfort is that I am growing! I was right to be nervous about what clothing to bring on the trip; my last pair of non-maternity jeans fit me when I left, but now it's not even close.