Instead of Praise

One aspect of Positive Discipline that I really enjoy is the idea of using descriptive praise.  Instead of saying, "Good job" for every little thing my daughter does, I try to recognize her effort, avoid too much of my own evaluations, and to be specific in my comments.  So, for instance, yesterday morning when she worked really hard at stacking up her dominos, persisting even after she kept knocking them over until she finally got them all up, I didn't tell her "Good work" or "Good for you" or "I'm proud of you."  I told her, "You stacked them all up. That takes coordination."  If I had thought of it at the time, I might have also said, "You kept trying until you got them all up.  That's called persistence."  (I wish I had thought of that at the time!)

I was very impressed with her effort, though.  She does not appear to be a naturally persistent child, so I always try to point out when persistence pays off for her.  Because I genuinely admired her work, I went one step further and asked her if she would like me to take a photo of her accomplishment.  She beamed and said YES. 



I've used the "take a photo" strategy before.  I don't do it often, but save it for times when I'm just dying to jump up and down screaming "Great job!  I'm so proud of you!"  This is a way to show her in action that I'm impressed, instead of just using words.  I took a picture of her first poop on the potty for the same reason.  Sometimes we come across that picture and I remind her how exciting it was.  Maybe when we look at this photo later, I can remind her how she kept trying until she got it right.