No, this isn't a link to a cute YouTube video, but links to two contrasting opinions about whether or not to let your children have cell phones.
Kim takes the affirmative.
Michelle takes the negative.
I found both arguments interesting, but I tend to agree with Kim, for many of the same reasons that came up in my last post about Internet research. You can't blame the tool when it is misused.
Our son will get his mobile-phone soon, when he goes into middle school later this year. Just the ability to contact him easily when he is elsewhere and have him contact us "on demand" is worth the extra $12 a month.
ReplyDeleteAs for the internet, it depends on how well the child understands what he ought and ought not do. Upto recently (10 years old), he was allowed to browse whatever he wanted, as long as he did not download anything without asking a parent's permission: no cute screen-savers, nothing. He was also allowed to go on some types of well-controlled "forums" like the one hosted by WebKinz. That kept us safe for the first 5 years!
Recently, he's wanted to do more active things, on some more open kids' game forums and so on. Over the last 6 months, we've evolved to the next stage. Now he uploads his own YouTube videos (not of himself, but of some gaming stuff), has "followers", visits selected Internet chat-rooms, runs a tiny forum of sorts, and fixes up internet Pokemon battles with anonymous people (presumably kids) around the world.
Apart for the ordinary Google/YouTube filtering, his only protection is the instructions we've given him, which he pretty much follows to the best of his ability. Basically, some simple steps allow him to be anonymous, which addresses the major part of any potential problem.
I do agree that you can't blame the tool--that takes out personal responsibility--I just don't think a cell phone is a necessity. It's an electronic leash and a luxury so we're opting out. But nice way of doing the "point/counterpoint" thing!
ReplyDeleteLike the Internet, I think that constant availability is a temptation even for a diligent, rational child (or adult, for that matter). I know people whose kids call them at the first instance of difficulty, for directions, and all manner of problems that they *could* solve on their own. It's often easier to just make the call and get a helpful answer from the parent. Once in a while, no big deal but I think it becomes a slippery slope quite readily.
ReplyDeleteI think back to my childhood. I got in a lot of scrapes (as did my wife) and we *had* to resolve them ourselves since our parents, or other grownups, were basically inaccessible. I think there's some real value in that.
Either of these can be resolved by either a firm stricture on emergency calls only or a child that is already used to handling his own problems. But kids like easy, as do adults, and I would be concerned that it could lead to a dependence that, while comforting and comfortable for both parties, is not in the interest of either.
Luckily, I'm in the same boat as you since it's going to be a few years before it becomes a real issue.
Every family can certainly opt out of cell phones. Not all families have the same desires and goals for their parenting. Not all families trust their children. Not all kids are the same--some develop maturity and good decision making much earlier than others.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe 'necessity' is the main criteria for determining what is worth purchasing for children. I can't say for everyone else, but once I get past food, clothes, shelter, and educational materials, everything else is not necessary. And I sure have enough of that 'other' stuff to show that necessary is no where near the only reason I buy things for my kids.
Many of Scribbit's other reasons were novel to me. I don't believe that using electronics is a less valid reality than one that doesn't involve electronics.
My daughter gloating about her possessions such as is implied by the 'toys are status symbols' reasoning is appalling. She may have a cell phone, but our finances are limited when it comes to many other aspects of modern living and my priorities in clothing tend toward Target instead of Hollister. The same thing can be said for 'It's important for kids to want things and not get them.' Children are constantly moving the goal post. Once they get one thing it's not as though they are never going to want another thing again. There are plenty of opportunities to deny children's wishes to keep them humble. And again, my resources are not unlimited. I cannot give my children everything they want and thus they will always have some unattained desire.
Expensive I get. That is a very practical concern. The cell phone I got for Hanover was $50 (close out deal at Target) and I would normally spend twice that anyway. And the addicting argument seems really out of left field. If the technology is addicting, it's because keeping in touch with people is addicting. And it's way more fun to be in touch with your friends. Parents and kids who text instead of interacting weren't going to interact without the phone anyway.
Bill: that is a really interesting point about the technology breeding dependence. I never thought of that. Of course, it does depend on the child.
ReplyDeleteKim: Does Hanover text message? Do you think texting is a total waste of time? Personally, I don't get it, except for very specific things, like occasionally communicating with my husband when he is in a boring meeting and can reply quickly via text. If it is valueless, then what the heck are all these kids doing all day? I don't think I'd say they are addicted, but they sure seem to be wasting a lot of time for some reason. What do you think?
I wouldn't have thought of it either except that our next-door neighbor has teenagers and so we get a front seat to what situations we might encounter with our children.
ReplyDeleteHanover barely remembers to keep her cell phone charged. She's more interested in playing the games. She doesn't use it much. She is very excited to have it and does enjoy taking it places just to do it. It's a taste of responsibility and a little bit of adulthood for her.
ReplyDeleteHer older sister (15), however, is on hers fairly often. She'll text while watching movies. She'll often talk to her boyfriend during the weekend she's down here.
I am not a texter myself, but I don't think it's a waste at all. It's faster than a phone call for little things, less intrusive for the receiver, less obtrusive for the sender, less likely to be annoying if the receiver is indisposed. For the pay as you, it can also be cheaper. It's also much cheaper to get unlimited messaging than unlimited minutes.