The examples Mitchell gives of shameful behavior include such disparate things as:
- Valeri Liukin missing his daughter's medal ceremony because he was busy arguing with the judges.
- Track and field stars "strutting their stuff in an ostentatious display."
- Track and Field winners taking a victory lap.
- Track and field winners draping their country's flag over their shoulders "as if it were a towel because they're just too busy thinking about how good it is to be them."
- 200 meter dash victor (and record breaker) Usain Bolt shouting, "I'm number one!"
- Track and Field athlete Wallace Spearmon protesting his disqualification for stepping on the lane lines.
- Gymnast Paul Hamm (in the 2004 games) keeping his gold medal even though he did not earn it. (There was a scoring error which could not be reversed according to the rules, but there was no question that he did not deserve the gold medal.)
All of these examples fall, for her, into some broad category defined loosely as "lack of humility," or "arrogance." I submit that the reason we see so much arrogance in sports is precisely because we have made genuine pride taboo in every other area of life.
What message do we send our children about pride? If you are truly religious, pride is an outright sin. One must never feel a sense of importance or greatness of the self. But since it is impossible to live without a positive sense of self, we've changed the terminology and begun to herald the importance of self-esteem. We've left both of these concepts fuzzy, though, and children receive such mixed messages as, "always think of others before yourself," "you are great because you are not like anybody else," "you are no better than anybody else," and "you are good and I'll help you feel it by telling you so over and over." Note that all of these messages involve the child's relationship with other people, but none address the true source of pride and self-esteem: achievement.
Since pride in achievement (which never denigrates others) has been lumped into the same category as conceit (an unearned, false pride), and arrogance (the feeling of superiority over others), children try to suppress it all in the name of being good. But the one area where pride is not considered completely out of bounds is in sports. In our culture, physical accomplishment is considered worthy of a respect not granted to any other achievement. Athletes are exempted from being labeled sinners for their pride. In sports, we are still allowed to WIN, to TRIUMPH, to SUCCEED, and for the most part, to feel good about it.
But the kids who have become the athletes of today were never taught the difference between an honest feeling of pride and the petty need to feel superior to others. They have not been taught to cherish and protect the sacred feeling of their own self-worth, which would make conceit and arrogance abhorrent. In many cases, they do not have real self-esteem or pride, but are indeed arrogant. In most other fields, people shut this feeling down because it is considered immoral. Athletes have been granted license to strut.
What saddens me is that the pathetic displays of arrogance I've seen in sports over the years, and even outright dishonesty can be equated with highly moral and beautiful moments. I watched Usain Bolt win the 200 meter dash and was thrilled with his performance and his obvious pride in his achievement. I was not offended by his chant of "I'm number one!" or even his childish victory dance. I saw a man who had earned it, celebrating his victory. I especially enjoyed the shot of Michael Johnson, watching from above as "Lightning" Bolt broke his world record. He was clearly excited to see it. Bolt's achievement did nothing to take away Johnson's. Later, Bolt described his feelings by saying, "I'm just proud of myself," and "I just try to enjoy myself." He never spoke of others, either as having beaten them, or even to thank them, as Mitchell would have him do in the name of humility. His achievement was his own and his pride was earned, and it was a great thing to watch.
We need to reclaim pride as a virtue - as the crown of the virtues - and we need to apply it to all areas of life, not just sports.
Oh you bring up an excellent point about the double message we tend to send children and I can see your point, well said. But is there a point where the pride in a job well done ever becomes inappropriate? I think everyone has felt that sense of happiness in accomplishment before and I know I want my children to experience it as they grow--it'll be what keeps them wanting to achieve--but is there ever a point where it crosses the line?
ReplyDeleteEven the president of the IOC came out and chided Bolt's behavior but if what he did is a good thing, a well earned chance to cheer, then where does it end? Would he have been justified in calling his opponents losers? (they were) or mocking them? (they looked silly behind his amazing lead). Just because you can do something to me doesn't mean you should do something. To have the self-restraint over your desires to show yourself better than someone else takes as much strength of character as running as race takes physical strength.
You've got good points here, I'll have to put a link in the comments, thanks!
Michelle,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the response! I didn't mean to dump on your opinion so much as use it as a vehicle to present mine. I'm glad to see you seem to have read it in that spirit.
I don't think there is a line where pride becomes inappropriate; I think when pride is defined clearly it is something you want to cultivate to the maximum extent. But a proud person would never be tempted to call his opponents losers or to mock them. That is arrogance. Pride does not require any psychological comparison to others. I say psychological because one may feel pride at beating a world record or winning a race with others, but the motivation to excel and the resulting feeling come from one's individual accomplishment. The others are just an external yardstick and not fundamentally important to the sense of pride. If you are psychologically independent, you would feel essentially the same way if you beat the record with no audience at all. (Not to say that you wouldn’t want the world to know – it’s just that that part is not the major motivator.)
It’s hard to tell from the outside who is proud and who is arrogant. It’s possible that Bolt really was acting out of the need to feel superior to others. When he was doing his silly dance he did seem to be performing for the crowd. But when he fell flat on the ground directly after the race, and when he spoke about his win, I saw a man looking inward, not outward. Probably, he is mixed.
I wouldn’t call some of your other examples pride or arrogance or conceit. I consider Paul Hamm dishonest for keeping that medal and that’s a whole different category of shameful behavior. I didn’t see the gymnast’s father who argued with the judges but it sounds like he was letting his emotions run wild and being very short-sighted for both his and his daughter’s sake. Whether or not he had a legitimate complaint, couldn’t it wait until a more appropriate time? How are those things examples of a lack of humility?
I think that there can be limits, not to the virtue of pride, but to one's display of what one has achieved by this virtue, when it is required by another virtue, e.g. the virtue of tactfulness. Ayn Rand characterized tactfulness as follows:
ReplyDelete"Tactfulness is consideration extended only to rational feelings. A tactful man does not stress his success or happiness in the presence of those who have suffered failure, loss or unhappiness; not because he suspects them of envy, but because he realizes that the contrast can revive and sharpen their pain. He does not stress his virtues in anyone’s presence: he takes for granted that they are recognized."
http://www.aynrandlexicon.com/lexicon/tactfulness.html
The only one of the listed behaviors that bothered me was the Liukin one. It seemed of a piece with other things I'd read about him (such as, when asked during an interview about how he felt since his daughter had now won more medals than he had, he replied that she hadn't won a gold so he still had that over her—this was before she won her golds). I'm a father of three girls and I just don't understand how he could not look up and beam at seeing his daughter on the medal stand. That, however, is not arrogance or lack of humility.
ReplyDeleteI have never considered the genuine joy I have seen when an athelete wins the gold as arrogance. I doubt that most atheletes in those moments would be thinking of others at all, and knowing you're the best at something for the moment does not necessarily equate with thinking you're superior to others in every respect. Some of the behavior described above--such as arguing with judges--is genuinely disrespectful, but I would not put a display of pride and joy upon winning in the same category.
ReplyDeleteRe: Paul Hamm
ReplyDeleteHamm did deserve the medal according to this writer:
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=3876
Anon - Thank you for that link. I had no firsthand knowledge of Hamm's story, and now I really don't care about whether or not he deserved to keep the gold medal and I'm not going to spent time researching it. It is not as important as his remarkable comeback and success. I wish I had seen it when it happened! Now that kind of dedication and independence is what I like to see in sports.
ReplyDeleteSascha - Thank you for the excellent point. I agree with the idea of tactfulness, but there are so many calls for humility these days that it's hard to identify true tact. I'm on the lookout for any display of pride I can find and it's rare enough that I probably let some tactlessness go by in my desparation. That is a mistake, though. It's important to see the world as it is, not as I would wish it to be. I'm going to keep your point in mind.
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