Friday, January 7, 2011
A Little Thing
I don't know which I'm more proud of: the fact that Sam can spell out H-I-C to sound like "hick" or the fact that she is so unfamiliar with the drink, Hi-C, that she pronounces it "hick."
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Day 1
Yesterday was Day 0, and today is Day 1, for our little embryos. I got the important call this morning and we have six fertilized eggs! Woohoo - one more than I had expected! I'm feeling a little bit less stressed now.
On the downside, ohmyeffinggod, that needle is huge!
That whole needle, up to the blue part, has to go into my skin,and the one cc of fluid is a thick oil (sesame oil!) which takes a few seconds to push into my body. Adam and I have done it twice now and actually, I think it's harder on him than it is on me. It doesn't hurt going in and the soreness was less than I had expected. But Adam has to work up the courage to actually make the plunge, so to speak. The idea of doing this for a couple of months is daunting, but I know it will get easier, just like the Lupron shots did.
So now I'm on estrogen, progesterone, prenatal vitamins, and antibiotics (which are a prophylactic against infection during the transfer procedure). I'm going to add in baby aspirin today. I've neglected to mention here that my mystery pain (I still prefer to call it that rather than tendonitis) has diminished enough so that I've eliminated the diclofenac, my previous NSAID miracle. I'm not exactly sure why my pain is diminished. One doctor told me the Lupron might help, but I also stopped exercising, which I'm pretty sure was making me worse. Anyway, I'm glad to be off the diclofenac, both for the potential pregnancy, and because it was giving me horrible GI problems. And now I can take the baby aspirin recommended to improve blood flow to the uterus and placenta.
We won't get any kind of update tomorrow. They just let those little guys stew by themselves until Day 3 - Saturday. Then, I might get a call early in the morning telling me to come in for transfer, or I might just get a report on how many embryos are still growing and how many cells they have.
Exciting stuff!
On the downside, ohmyeffinggod, that needle is huge!
That whole needle, up to the blue part, has to go into my skin,and the one cc of fluid is a thick oil (sesame oil!) which takes a few seconds to push into my body. Adam and I have done it twice now and actually, I think it's harder on him than it is on me. It doesn't hurt going in and the soreness was less than I had expected. But Adam has to work up the courage to actually make the plunge, so to speak. The idea of doing this for a couple of months is daunting, but I know it will get easier, just like the Lupron shots did.
So now I'm on estrogen, progesterone, prenatal vitamins, and antibiotics (which are a prophylactic against infection during the transfer procedure). I'm going to add in baby aspirin today. I've neglected to mention here that my mystery pain (I still prefer to call it that rather than tendonitis) has diminished enough so that I've eliminated the diclofenac, my previous NSAID miracle. I'm not exactly sure why my pain is diminished. One doctor told me the Lupron might help, but I also stopped exercising, which I'm pretty sure was making me worse. Anyway, I'm glad to be off the diclofenac, both for the potential pregnancy, and because it was giving me horrible GI problems. And now I can take the baby aspirin recommended to improve blood flow to the uterus and placenta.
We won't get any kind of update tomorrow. They just let those little guys stew by themselves until Day 3 - Saturday. Then, I might get a call early in the morning telling me to come in for transfer, or I might just get a report on how many embryos are still growing and how many cells they have.
Exciting stuff!
Objectivist Round Up
Happy New Year, and welcome to the January 6, 2011 edition of the Objectivist Round Up! We have nineteen posts for you today in this first edition of 2011. At least two are from new contributors, which is a wonderful thing.
To warm yourself up, consider this quote from Ayn Rand, reprinted here simply because I like it:
And now, on with the Round Up:
Roderick Fitts presents Reduction of Objectivity (Aristotle) posted at Inductive Quest, saying, "A post reducing how Aristotle would have reached his idea objectivity, of a method designed to reach knowledge by adhering to reality. Enjoy!"
Roderick Fitts presents Induction of Objectivity (Aristotle) posted at Inductive Quest, saying, "A presentation of how Aristotle might have induce his system of logic, and view of objectivity. I learn to appreciate Aristotle a lot after working this induction, and I hope you do too!"
Kate Yoak presents Speaking freely posted at Parenting is..., saying, "Lessons I learned from other objectivist on the value of speaking my views - and teaching my kids to do the same."
Hanah presents The Little Engine That Could posted at Charlie's Bookshelf, saying, "I'm excited to join the carnival with my brand-new blog on the very specialized topic of children's book reviews from an Objectivist perspective."
Rachel Miner presents Finding Objectivism posted at The Playful Spirit, saying, "From a program designed to train me as a young, Jewish leader to the streets of Jerusalem to Poland's concentration camps... I decided to finally write the story of how I found Objectivism."
Stella presents My silence on Avastin posted at ReasonPharm, saying, "ReasonPharm readers should know why I've kept silent on an important issue -- because my silence has implications."
Diana Hsieh presents My Year in Review posted at NoodleFood, saying, "I accomplished more than I realized in 2010, despite a dismal start to the year."
John Drake presents Emotions and Self-discipline posted at Try Reason!, saying, "A short post about the relationship between emotions and self-discipline."
Paul Hsieh presents Hsieh PJM OpEd: "Will the GOP Walk the Walk On The Constitution?" posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "In my latest PJM OpEd, I tell the GOP that it's not enough to just pay lip service to the Constitution. They must also defending with deeds the principles of individual rights and limited government."
Rational Jenn presents Mythbusting: Positive Discipline posted at Rational Jenn, saying, "In this post, I tackle a few of the more common objections I've heard to Positive Discipline/non-punitive discipline."
Ari Armstrong presents My Interview with Sam Adams Alliance posted at Free Colorado, saying, "I discuss Ayn Rand, Harry Potter, and free market activism in my recent interview with the Sam Adams Alliance."
David C Lewis, RFA presents Should Financial Advisers Be Licensed? posted at A Revolution In Financial Planning, saying, "Should licensing be required for financial advisers? Does it help or hurt advisers and clients? In this post, I argue that licensing violates individual rights and does not ensure a better quality of service."
Thomas Hochmann presents Blank Check for the "Less Fortunate" posted at The Objectivist Voice, saying, "We call racism evil, because it pre-judges an individual based on genetic qualities beyond his control. Yet there is apparently nothing evil with pre-judging people who are born “fortunate” with good health or a good family, or the like."
Kelly Elmore presents My Accomplishments 2010 posted at Reepicheep's Coracle, saying, "I like the idea of looking back over the things I accomplished in 2010, so here it is. Plus, I like that Oists don't mind bragging. :) I am hoping to write a post about what I am hoping and striving for in 2011 to follow this one."
Morgan Polotan presents Raw Milk Fans Should Read Ayn Rand posted at Morgan Polotan's Blog, saying, "This is my first time submitting to the Objectivist Roundup, and I'm excited to make this a consistent weekly habit!"
Jared Rhoads presents Twead #7: Cynthia Koelker posted at The Lucidicus Project, saying, "Notes and highlights from Cynthia Koelker's new book, "101 Ways to Save Money on Health Care.""
Martin Lindeskog presents 100 VOICES BY SCOTT MCCONNELL posted at EGO, saying, "I have read the first interview (Eleanora Drobysheva) in Scott McConnell's book, 100 Voices: An Oral History of Ayn Rand."
Michael Labeit presents Defending "Draft Dodging" posted at Michael Labeit at EconomicPolicyJournal.com.
Jim Woods presents Statism Advocacy Organizations posted at Words by Woods, saying, "When NGOs and civil society organizations advocate intrusive government regulation of individuals' lives and accept public funding, are they still nongovernmental?"
That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
To warm yourself up, consider this quote from Ayn Rand, reprinted here simply because I like it:
Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage’s whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men.
--Ayn Rand, The Soul of an Individualist, For the New Intellectual, 84.
And now, on with the Round Up:
Roderick Fitts presents Reduction of Objectivity (Aristotle) posted at Inductive Quest, saying, "A post reducing how Aristotle would have reached his idea objectivity, of a method designed to reach knowledge by adhering to reality. Enjoy!"
Roderick Fitts presents Induction of Objectivity (Aristotle) posted at Inductive Quest, saying, "A presentation of how Aristotle might have induce his system of logic, and view of objectivity. I learn to appreciate Aristotle a lot after working this induction, and I hope you do too!"
Kate Yoak presents Speaking freely posted at Parenting is..., saying, "Lessons I learned from other objectivist on the value of speaking my views - and teaching my kids to do the same."
Hanah presents The Little Engine That Could posted at Charlie's Bookshelf, saying, "I'm excited to join the carnival with my brand-new blog on the very specialized topic of children's book reviews from an Objectivist perspective."
Rachel Miner presents Finding Objectivism posted at The Playful Spirit, saying, "From a program designed to train me as a young, Jewish leader to the streets of Jerusalem to Poland's concentration camps... I decided to finally write the story of how I found Objectivism."
Stella presents My silence on Avastin posted at ReasonPharm, saying, "ReasonPharm readers should know why I've kept silent on an important issue -- because my silence has implications."
Diana Hsieh presents My Year in Review posted at NoodleFood, saying, "I accomplished more than I realized in 2010, despite a dismal start to the year."
John Drake presents Emotions and Self-discipline posted at Try Reason!, saying, "A short post about the relationship between emotions and self-discipline."
Paul Hsieh presents Hsieh PJM OpEd: "Will the GOP Walk the Walk On The Constitution?" posted at We Stand FIRM, saying, "In my latest PJM OpEd, I tell the GOP that it's not enough to just pay lip service to the Constitution. They must also defending with deeds the principles of individual rights and limited government."
Rational Jenn presents Mythbusting: Positive Discipline posted at Rational Jenn, saying, "In this post, I tackle a few of the more common objections I've heard to Positive Discipline/non-punitive discipline."
Ari Armstrong presents My Interview with Sam Adams Alliance posted at Free Colorado, saying, "I discuss Ayn Rand, Harry Potter, and free market activism in my recent interview with the Sam Adams Alliance."
David C Lewis, RFA presents Should Financial Advisers Be Licensed? posted at A Revolution In Financial Planning, saying, "Should licensing be required for financial advisers? Does it help or hurt advisers and clients? In this post, I argue that licensing violates individual rights and does not ensure a better quality of service."
Thomas Hochmann presents Blank Check for the "Less Fortunate" posted at The Objectivist Voice, saying, "We call racism evil, because it pre-judges an individual based on genetic qualities beyond his control. Yet there is apparently nothing evil with pre-judging people who are born “fortunate” with good health or a good family, or the like."
Kelly Elmore presents My Accomplishments 2010 posted at Reepicheep's Coracle, saying, "I like the idea of looking back over the things I accomplished in 2010, so here it is. Plus, I like that Oists don't mind bragging. :) I am hoping to write a post about what I am hoping and striving for in 2011 to follow this one."
Morgan Polotan presents Raw Milk Fans Should Read Ayn Rand posted at Morgan Polotan's Blog, saying, "This is my first time submitting to the Objectivist Roundup, and I'm excited to make this a consistent weekly habit!"
Jared Rhoads presents Twead #7: Cynthia Koelker posted at The Lucidicus Project, saying, "Notes and highlights from Cynthia Koelker's new book, "101 Ways to Save Money on Health Care.""
Martin Lindeskog presents 100 VOICES BY SCOTT MCCONNELL posted at EGO, saying, "I have read the first interview (Eleanora Drobysheva) in Scott McConnell's book, 100 Voices: An Oral History of Ayn Rand."
Michael Labeit presents Defending "Draft Dodging" posted at Michael Labeit at EconomicPolicyJournal.com.
Jim Woods presents Statism Advocacy Organizations posted at Words by Woods, saying, "When NGOs and civil society organizations advocate intrusive government regulation of individuals' lives and accept public funding, are they still nongovernmental?"
That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of the Objectivist Round Up using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
We Have Eggs
Our donor ended up producing fourteen eggs. Since we are doing a split cycle (where the clinic is keeping half), we get seven. That seems like a very low number to me, and now I'm second-guessing my decision to do the split cycle. Our donor had averaged 22 eggs in the past, so I was hoping for more. My coordinator says, "Seven is a good number, and I expect you'll have something to transfer," but the idea that we might not is making my stomach churn right now.
Statistically, we can expect about five of the eggs to be fertilized. That's a very rough guess. Then it's a matter of how many will develop well. I've read that about half make it to the blastocyst stage, which is what we're aiming for. All we need are two good ones to give us the 70% chance that we're hoping for. Anything more can be frozen for another try, but my coordinator warned me not to expect to have enough to freeze when doing a split cycle, so I won't be disappointed if that happens. I just want my two embryos.
I did find out more about the embryo grading. Actually, when they are embryos, the only thing measured is the number of cells. On Day 3, they hope to have embryos with six or more cells - this is considered good development. When they are at the blastocyst stage at Day 5, there is structure beyond the cells, and the cells have differentiated into, I think, at least two types. There is then some kind of grading system, but it is not universal - it differs from clinic to clinic - and I won't find out exactly how mine works until the time comes. (I suppose I could demand to know now, but I don't think it would be productive.)
We'll find out tomorrow morning how many were fertilized.
Now the stress and uncertainty begins in earnest.
Statistically, we can expect about five of the eggs to be fertilized. That's a very rough guess. Then it's a matter of how many will develop well. I've read that about half make it to the blastocyst stage, which is what we're aiming for. All we need are two good ones to give us the 70% chance that we're hoping for. Anything more can be frozen for another try, but my coordinator warned me not to expect to have enough to freeze when doing a split cycle, so I won't be disappointed if that happens. I just want my two embryos.
I did find out more about the embryo grading. Actually, when they are embryos, the only thing measured is the number of cells. On Day 3, they hope to have embryos with six or more cells - this is considered good development. When they are at the blastocyst stage at Day 5, there is structure beyond the cells, and the cells have differentiated into, I think, at least two types. There is then some kind of grading system, but it is not universal - it differs from clinic to clinic - and I won't find out exactly how mine works until the time comes. (I suppose I could demand to know now, but I don't think it would be productive.)
We'll find out tomorrow morning how many were fertilized.
Now the stress and uncertainty begins in earnest.
Embryos and Blastocysts
Right now, maybe at this very moment, about 5 miles away, some technician is combining my husband's genes with some stranger's.
I just left a message with my coordinator because I can't remember what and when the next status update will be. Will they call me this morning to tell me how many eggs were retrieved? Will they be able to tell how many were fertilized at some point today? I was so focused on the little steps we had to take over the past two days to focus on what we'd find out today.
I had my ultrasound yesterday and my body is ready to go. I had a little scare the day before because I thought I saw a tiny spot of blood, which could have meant I was shedding my uterine lining. I also felt a little tic - something that I associate with the miscarriages. It turned out to be nothing, so I'd bet it was psychological.
Yesterday I also received my final instructions. My last shot of Lupron was this morning, and tonight I start antibiotics and the dreaded progesterone shots, as well as continuing the estrogen pills. I was surprised to find out that if I do get pregnant, I'll have to continue the progesterone shots (and the estrogen) for up to six weeks to support the pregnancy. And it turns out that the difficulty with these shots is not really the needle, but the soreness afterwards. The oil that holds the medication knots up in the muscle and can be very uncomfortable - something like a flu shot. The injection is given in the upper buttock, so Adam will probably have to do it for me, or else I can do it in my thigh, but it's supposed to hurt more there. If I get pregnant and just can't stand the shots, there is a vaginal suppository that can be substituted, but it is not as effective. We'll cross that bridge when, and hopefully if, we come to it. My pregnancy test is scheduled for January 19.
Last night I didn't sleep very well. Today is not the Big Day, but it is a big day. I've started reading up on the embryo development process. My clinic prefers to transfer on Day 5, at the blastocyst stage, but certain factors can call for a decision to transfer on Day 3, when they are still considered embryos with about 8 cells. It is better to get those embryos into a "natural environment" as soon as possible, but at Day 3, there is less information to assess which ones are the good ones. Therefore, if we have to transfer on Day 3, we would transfer three instead of two.
There is a whole rating system for embryos which I've been aware of for some time, but which I've not studied. Now it is time for me to go check it out, because this is what we'll probably be immersed in for the next few days.
And that's all for now.
I just left a message with my coordinator because I can't remember what and when the next status update will be. Will they call me this morning to tell me how many eggs were retrieved? Will they be able to tell how many were fertilized at some point today? I was so focused on the little steps we had to take over the past two days to focus on what we'd find out today.
I had my ultrasound yesterday and my body is ready to go. I had a little scare the day before because I thought I saw a tiny spot of blood, which could have meant I was shedding my uterine lining. I also felt a little tic - something that I associate with the miscarriages. It turned out to be nothing, so I'd bet it was psychological.
Yesterday I also received my final instructions. My last shot of Lupron was this morning, and tonight I start antibiotics and the dreaded progesterone shots, as well as continuing the estrogen pills. I was surprised to find out that if I do get pregnant, I'll have to continue the progesterone shots (and the estrogen) for up to six weeks to support the pregnancy. And it turns out that the difficulty with these shots is not really the needle, but the soreness afterwards. The oil that holds the medication knots up in the muscle and can be very uncomfortable - something like a flu shot. The injection is given in the upper buttock, so Adam will probably have to do it for me, or else I can do it in my thigh, but it's supposed to hurt more there. If I get pregnant and just can't stand the shots, there is a vaginal suppository that can be substituted, but it is not as effective. We'll cross that bridge when, and hopefully if, we come to it. My pregnancy test is scheduled for January 19.
Last night I didn't sleep very well. Today is not the Big Day, but it is a big day. I've started reading up on the embryo development process. My clinic prefers to transfer on Day 5, at the blastocyst stage, but certain factors can call for a decision to transfer on Day 3, when they are still considered embryos with about 8 cells. It is better to get those embryos into a "natural environment" as soon as possible, but at Day 3, there is less information to assess which ones are the good ones. Therefore, if we have to transfer on Day 3, we would transfer three instead of two.
There is a whole rating system for embryos which I've been aware of for some time, but which I've not studied. Now it is time for me to go check it out, because this is what we'll probably be immersed in for the next few days.
And that's all for now.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Trigger Time
Things Are Happening.
Our egg donor is getting her trigger shot tonight. This is the shot that completes the egg maturation process and causes the eggs to be released so they can be "retrieved." Retrieval day is going to be this Wednesday - 36 hours after the shot.
Right now, the donor has about 15 follicles over 10 millimeters, and a few that are fully mature (I think this means over 15mm). Between now and retrieval, they will all mature and grow some more. I have not asked the clinic at all about how they time the trigger shot, but obviously, the idea is to time it so you release the eggs at the point when there are a maximum number of eggs at the right level of maturity. The Internet is full of speculation about how to achieve this maximization, but I'm not getting into stressing out about it. It is 100% in the interest of the clinic to maximize the number of good eggs retrieved, and therefore my chances of success, and they know 99.99% more than I do about the science (and art) of doing it. There's really nothing to be gained by trying to micromanage my doctors. (That's quite the opposite of my view when dealing with regular doctors - meaning ones that get paid by insurance companies. Dealing with pay-for-service doctors is completely different. I'll have to write about my variety of experiences with that some other time.)
I'm going in for my last monitoring ultrasound tomorrow, and then Adam makes his contribution the next day, at the same time the eggs are being retrieved. I think we'll find out how many are fertilized by the end of that day. I'll find out more about the logistical details at my appointment tomorrow. This is when things get busy and might change from hour to hour, including a lot of changes in my medications. But ideally, the embryos will simmer for five days before transfer, so the Big Day should be one week from today.
I'll keep you posted.
Our egg donor is getting her trigger shot tonight. This is the shot that completes the egg maturation process and causes the eggs to be released so they can be "retrieved." Retrieval day is going to be this Wednesday - 36 hours after the shot.
Right now, the donor has about 15 follicles over 10 millimeters, and a few that are fully mature (I think this means over 15mm). Between now and retrieval, they will all mature and grow some more. I have not asked the clinic at all about how they time the trigger shot, but obviously, the idea is to time it so you release the eggs at the point when there are a maximum number of eggs at the right level of maturity. The Internet is full of speculation about how to achieve this maximization, but I'm not getting into stressing out about it. It is 100% in the interest of the clinic to maximize the number of good eggs retrieved, and therefore my chances of success, and they know 99.99% more than I do about the science (and art) of doing it. There's really nothing to be gained by trying to micromanage my doctors. (That's quite the opposite of my view when dealing with regular doctors - meaning ones that get paid by insurance companies. Dealing with pay-for-service doctors is completely different. I'll have to write about my variety of experiences with that some other time.)
I'm going in for my last monitoring ultrasound tomorrow, and then Adam makes his contribution the next day, at the same time the eggs are being retrieved. I think we'll find out how many are fertilized by the end of that day. I'll find out more about the logistical details at my appointment tomorrow. This is when things get busy and might change from hour to hour, including a lot of changes in my medications. But ideally, the embryos will simmer for five days before transfer, so the Big Day should be one week from today.
I'll keep you posted.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Sam's First Glimpse of God
Sam got her first glimpse of god today. She watched this video with me (which, by the way, is hilarious):
When she saw god, she said, "Mommy, who's that? Is that Santa Claus?" I couldn't contain a little giggle, but then I managed to answer casually, "No. He does kind of look like Santa, but that's supposed to be god. Have you ever heard of people talking about god?" She answered, "No." I explained, "Oh, well he's another imaginary guy." Ha!
Sam is actually starting to get curious about these things. After I told her that god was an imaginary guy, she asked, "How did he get up there? Did he fly?" I just told her, "Good question. I wonder why he's so big, too." I left her to think about that on her own.
A few days ago, she asked me what a ghost is. She's been in love with all things spooky for over a year, and she's been asking me questions about what ghosts say and what they do for ages, but this was the first time she asked, "What is a ghost?" I could tell by her tone that she was grasping for more than, "a white spooky thing that we dress up as on Halloween," so I reminded her about death, and I told her that some people imagine that, after people die, their souls still exist, and that's what ghosts are. I had to also explain "soul" so I told her that your soul is everything inside of you that makes you who you are: your feelings, your thoughts, and everything you decide to do, but not your body. I managed to do this in just two or three short sentences and when I was done, her eyes lit up and she said, "Cool!" I'm not sure exactly how she understands it, but she understands something. I don't mind if she likes the idea of immortal souls - as long as I'm not trying to sell her on the idea, I have confidence that she'll work it out.
As you may have gathered from the Santa comparison, we don't try to sell Sam on the reality of Old Saint Nick, either. We talk about Santa and the reindeer and the chimney, and we read The Night Before Christmas, and most of the time we don't say anything about it not being real. But there have been a couple of times where Sam has asked a question about Santa in relation to reality which required me to say something like, "That's because it's just a story," or "because Santa is something we imagine because it makes Christmas more fun." I can't remember the details - it's only come up a couple of times. But I do remember that last time it did, after I said it was pretend, Sam got very upset and said, "No, mommy. Santa is REAL." I just said, "Oh, ok." I'm glad that I didn't try to convince her otherwise, because the next thing she said was, "He is real. I saw him in the mall."
I can't argue with that!
When she saw god, she said, "Mommy, who's that? Is that Santa Claus?" I couldn't contain a little giggle, but then I managed to answer casually, "No. He does kind of look like Santa, but that's supposed to be god. Have you ever heard of people talking about god?" She answered, "No." I explained, "Oh, well he's another imaginary guy." Ha!
Sam is actually starting to get curious about these things. After I told her that god was an imaginary guy, she asked, "How did he get up there? Did he fly?" I just told her, "Good question. I wonder why he's so big, too." I left her to think about that on her own.
A few days ago, she asked me what a ghost is. She's been in love with all things spooky for over a year, and she's been asking me questions about what ghosts say and what they do for ages, but this was the first time she asked, "What is a ghost?" I could tell by her tone that she was grasping for more than, "a white spooky thing that we dress up as on Halloween," so I reminded her about death, and I told her that some people imagine that, after people die, their souls still exist, and that's what ghosts are. I had to also explain "soul" so I told her that your soul is everything inside of you that makes you who you are: your feelings, your thoughts, and everything you decide to do, but not your body. I managed to do this in just two or three short sentences and when I was done, her eyes lit up and she said, "Cool!" I'm not sure exactly how she understands it, but she understands something. I don't mind if she likes the idea of immortal souls - as long as I'm not trying to sell her on the idea, I have confidence that she'll work it out.
As you may have gathered from the Santa comparison, we don't try to sell Sam on the reality of Old Saint Nick, either. We talk about Santa and the reindeer and the chimney, and we read The Night Before Christmas, and most of the time we don't say anything about it not being real. But there have been a couple of times where Sam has asked a question about Santa in relation to reality which required me to say something like, "That's because it's just a story," or "because Santa is something we imagine because it makes Christmas more fun." I can't remember the details - it's only come up a couple of times. But I do remember that last time it did, after I said it was pretend, Sam got very upset and said, "No, mommy. Santa is REAL." I just said, "Oh, ok." I'm glad that I didn't try to convince her otherwise, because the next thing she said was, "He is real. I saw him in the mall."
I can't argue with that!
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